Week 8, Day 3

Happy New Year to everyone!

I am still hanging in there with mild nausea and now roller coaster crying. Last night I cried when a hair style commerical came on. Let me just say right now that I've always been one of those who would read about emotional pregnant women and think 'it can't be that bad, these women must be drama queens'. But as of this week I am eating my words. I was just in tears when the commercial came on thinking 'my hair is a mess'. Oh well that's what set off the water works.

This morning I realized that I have to get new jeans because none of my current ones fits anymore. I was already on the verge, but it seems the pants are too tight in the thighs. Needless to say I am doing my squats and legs each morning now. I also walked yesterday. I did extensive research on controlling weight gain during pregnancy. I DO NOT want to gain more than 15 pounds at my current weight. I am sure my doctor will agree. Starting out more than 40 pounds over my target weight is already enough without adding on 30-40 additional pounds. I think I'd be at risk of gestational diabetes and the whole nine. So I am going to fight harder to eat healthy meals and no more than 1800 calories plus my exercise. I will run all this by my doctor at next weeks visit to be sure I am doing the right thing.

As it stands I am so nauseous and disgusted with most food. I don't know what to do. Its still mild but its affecting my eating so much. I plan to get a lot of bland stuff to eat. I've been eating a lot of dairy since that is good fro 8 week baby development, but I gotta have some more variety and veggies most of all. I know I could probably eat some spinach if I set my mind to it. I have a strong aversion to chicken too. I don't want anything to do with it. Somethings gotta give though because I know I gotta do better. I recall eating a large bowl of broccoli with cheese and I want to gag. I did it though because I knew it'd be good for the baby. Now its harder for me to make those healthy choices. I will try though.

Week 7, Day 6

I went to bed in tears and woke up in tears. I am hormonal and emotional and I recognize that. It was funny because Mr. Butterbean Sr. made the comment that I was 'torturing' him while he was trying to play his PS3 and left and went to the basement. It hurt my feelings and I just began to cry. I went to bed and had horrid dreams of me screaming and being emotional with my grandmother, sister and cousin. Then I woke up in tears. It was just a mess. Even now I refuse to talk to Mr. Butterbean Sr. He came up when I was making breakfast and asked if I slept well. I just gave a blank star. He kept trying but I told him he's not going to torture me so just leave me alone. Well he got the message about what is going on but he kept trying. I just ignored him.

Yesterday I woke in the guest bedroom. Why? Mr. Butterbean Sr. came in snoring and it enraged me and I got out of bed and went to the guest bedroom. He came in asking if I wanted breakfast. NO! After about 10 minutes he came and got in the guest bed with me. Poor thing. He gave me a pep talk and told me 'we both wanted this baby so there is no need to be irritable with him'. I told him I was nauseous and had a headache. A little more pep talk and cuddling and I got up and we went and got some breakfast. Well Mr. Butterbean's pep talk wore off by the evening, but its okay. He did try and I don't think he can imagine how emotional I can be right now. I know its all the baby hormones so I just pray and push along.

Right now I am listening to the tunes of Anthony Hamilton, his new CD for 2008 which I already love and I am about to wash the breakfast dishes and go for a short walk. I need the fresh air and its very breezy and I need that too. So I'm off!

Week 7, Day 1

We are 7 weeks today! I am still marveling over the news and sometimes its hard to believe, but my mild nausea and loss of appetite are reminders that I am indeed preggo. I continue to have slight pangs of growth and I know from the u/s where my baby is located in my uterus...way down at the bottom left corner.

I’ve changed my diet to avoid meats and animal byproducts with any added hormones or antibiotics. This is because I do not want to give those fibroids anymore ammunition to grow. So I been at Trader Joe’s buying up the vegetarian fed meats and eggs. Feels like I am doing something good for myself and I like it. I am still not actively exercising, but that will change as soon as I hit month 3. I will be doing 20 minute walks and once it warms up, the sky is the limit for walking. I did jump on the scale to find I am not gaining any weight. My appetite is too suppressed for that and I am barely able to eat much more than a kiddie sized meal of anything. It’s a good thing though because I am already overweight and I don’t want to gain too much or get gestational diabetes. My co-worker told me to confess eating healthy and staying down and it will be so, so that is what I do. I pray over my Lil’ Butterbean every day, several times a day, thanking God for allowing me to conceive and praying for a healthy baby.

This weekend my sister was announcing my pregnancy to some of her friends who know how much my husband and I have been trying. It was so exciting to hear her talk about it and everyone was so pleased. A couple including my sister asked me what I want to have and surprisingly I said before I got pregnant I wanted boys, but now its seems I am unconcerned, but whenever I think about the baby I seem to think girl. I think its because I can pick her name if it’s a girl. If it’s a boy it will be named after Mr. Butterbean Sr. My step-daughter also says she wants a sister. She is the only girl. I say 10 fingers, 10 toes in the likeness of God. That’s all I want and am praying for.

I got all the books from my sister to read over…What to Expect, Perfect Pregnancy, Baby Names and Baby’s First Year. I am excited to read. My husband continues to be excited too.

This morning I have decaf coffee for the first time in a long while. I was holding off on any caffeine at all. I am not a caffeine person anyway, but I do enjoy my decaf. So I indulged and it was good. But I think I am done with it for a while. I am having PBJ for lunch and I think I’ll pick up a milkshake. I just don’t want to go through another day of blah and one day of splurging won’t hurt. Besides milk is good for the baby.

So nothing much but the constant lack of appetite and mild nausea. On with week 7!