Week 22, Day 2

Five and a half months pregnant. Wow! Time seems to be picking up speed and flying by. Nothing that new to discuss expect at my last doctor’s visit the physician informed me that the practice voted a big fat no for me even attempting a vaginal birth after myomectomy. I have researched this topic at length and not found much information as should be available concerning it. I went to the fibroid geek site that I am a member of and found one woman after another saying ‘my doctor said I’ll have to have a c-section’. Well that’s what mine says too but I say I am in control of my own body and I will make my own decisions. The last doctor explained the situation to me in MUCH greater detail and even gave me a copy of the post op report from the doctor who performed the myomectomy as well as some referrals for other doctors since I told him I was going to get some other opinions. Granted he has 28 years of experience and that’s nothing to thumb your nose at, but still I feel as though there has to be other considerations. He said since my cut was on the fundus and so large (I had an 11 cm fibroid) that went all the way down to the soft pouch of the uterus, that there was just NO WAY! He said that my incision is on the working part of the uterus that is really working to push the baby down and out and therefore there was too great a risk of uterine rupture. He said vaginal birth may be better for me, but c-section is best for the baby. This rubbed me the wrong way and I laid into him telling him that I will do what is best for my baby. Somehow I don’t think cutting her out of me 2 weeks early is the right thing for her. I also need to be able to care for this very same baby once we get home and after being sliced once, I know what that was like and I simply could not imagine having to care for a small baby along with it. On top of that I want to give her siblings too and the constant slicing and dicing on my uterus is definitely not good for that.

All in all I am still researching and will be visiting 2 other doctors offices to see what they have to say. I will also research some midwives and doulahs to see what I can find. I am not 100% against c-section, I just think they should allow me to go into labor naturally and monitor to see how its going. From most reports uterine rupture occurs prior to deliver as late as 33 weeks. On top of that, if the doctors are so concerned about uterine rupture, I wonder what they’ll be doing to monitor me? More frequent u/s to monitor the uterus? What. I’ve got lots of questions for them and they better be prepared to answer and answer well!

I know it may seem like I am being ungrateful after my struggle with infertility, but I also do not think I am supposed to just ‘lay down and take’ whatever the doctors dish out. I think God works miracles and I have been put in this situation to show others how he works. I’ve prayed over this entire pregnancy and know that God is in control. He is on it and I told him I’ll get the info and wait on a word from Him. So far I think my little girl will be a small baby and I do believe that is a blessing so her size does not put too much stress on my mended uterus. I’ve gained 6 pounds total and I think I probably loss a good bit initially, so I am doing well. God will let me know what to do for sure!

On another note my baby girl is moving around and her kicks are stronger and stronger. I hum to her and sing and she even reacts to her daddy’s voice now. Its so cute and I am so very happy and blessed!

Week 20, Day 4

Less than 20 weeks to go and I can’t believe it!

The past week has brought some slight disappointments for me. I finally went to the Endocrinologist to get the results of my FNA for my thyroid. Turns out I now have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. It is an autoimmune disease where the thryroid begins to attack itself and eventually stops working altogether. They think I will eventually need to go on thyroid replacement hormones, but as of my last check, my levels were fine. I have to go to the doctor more frequently for ultrasounds and bloodwork since I am preggers. It seems the extra demand for TSH during pregnancy has pushed my thyroid over the edge. I am not too terribly upset about it. It is something I can live with.

The other blow came yesterday at my OB visit. I had sent in a detailed letter with a request to be allowed to try a trial of labor instead of automatically being signed up for a c-section. After my myomectomy the specialist who performed my surgery told me that they highly recommended a c-section to deliver my babies because the uterus had been compromised by surgery and was not ‘as strong’ as before. Well, after almost two years of healing, I thought the risk was not that high. Turns out it is a bit higher than I thought because of where my fibroid was located and that is the reason the doctors are adamantly against me doing a vaginal birth. They fear uterine rupture during the labor since my incision was made on the fundus of the uterus and it is the major working part of the uterus during labor. The OB I saw yesterday really went into great detail with me to help me better understand. In the end I told him I’ll consult with a couple of other doctors and then decide. Next visit I’ll go in with my tons of questions to ask and then Mr. Butterbean Sr. and I will make our final decision. We are both against cesearean due to the heal time and then having to deal with a baby, plus I may (I pray to God I don’t) need another surgery for fibroid removal. We’ll see.

So, that’s what’s going on with me for now. I continue to grow day by day and marvel at this whole pregnancy thing. My nausea is about non-existent and my appetite has increased, but I can’t eat too much or I’ll get sick. I am able to cook dinner again and have a bit more energy now and I thank God for that. I continuously thank God for allowing an infertile like me to finally conceive. I thank Him for this opportunity that so many women take for granted or think they are entitled to just because they are women. I thank Him because He has proven to me that I can trust him to take care of me and I love Him for that.

We are moving along in this pregnancy and its nothing like I thought it would be, but I simply would not trade it for anything in this world.

The Second Trimester

Today marks the first day of my second trimester. I am officially 14 weeks along with this pregnancy with 26 more to go. Wow! Time does pass by doesn’t it? Seems like yesterday I was 4 weeks and just finding out about my amazing gift. I weighed myself this morning and I am still at my pre-pregnancy weight, not a pound gained, but I do expect that to change now that the babies development is mostly complete and now is the time for growing. I am expecting a half pound per week, but we will see. I just do not want to gain too much weight since I am already overweight and do not want to add any complications. Plus, my OB has informed me that they want me to do cesarean birth because of the myomectomy. I have opted against that and wrote them a nice long letter explaining why I am opting for a vaginal birth. I had been researching and came across a blog I enjoy reading and she had the same thing happen to her. She researched and wrote a letter and I took from I and wrote one myself. If they refuse to listen, I am going to look into getting a midwife or something and just side-step the whole OB situation altogether. They say they fear uterine rupture, so I figure with my myomectomy being 20 months prior to my first pregnancy and me trying to help myself by controlling weight gain I can have a smooth vaginal birth. No need to eat like a pig and be the size of a cow when I deliver. That’s too much weight to have to lose anyway. I am hoping to gain about 15 pounds total. We shall see.

I think the pangs I feel in my uterus is it expanding and accommodating Lil’ Butterbean. Sometimes I have to rub my tummy to try to cope. I also have some side pain, almost like ovulation pain on my right side. Is that round ligament pain? I try not to worry too much about any of it and let God do what he does. I have been moving along worry free and it is all by God’s grace. I have never been so nonchalant about things before and I never imagined I could be, but when you are blessed with the job of growing a little baby inside of you, the little things do not matter anymore and its only serious business. Today I go in for the thyroid biopsy. In the past I would be sick with worry, but not now. I gave that thing to the Lord God and left it there, that is something I have never been able to do completely. Now I can. BTW, thank you so much Anna for the beautiful prayer. It is so welcomed and appreciated.

So on with enjoying week 14 of my pregnancy. I am still a little nauseous and a have fatigue, but doing very well as far as I can see. Next appointment is 2/26 and I get to hear Lil’ Butterbean’s heartbeat. I can’t wait!