I wanted to thank you all for coming along with me on my journey in the birth of my daughter. I will not be posting here anymore but will leave the blog active in case someone else can find some helpful information here.
If you are struggling with fertility and have issues similar to what I had, I want to encourage you and let you know that there is hope. It can and will happen, just keep the faith and never give up on your dream to conceive.
Many Blessings,
The Rebound Girl
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
The C-Section Experience
Since Lil' Butterbean did not come on her own, we went in for our scheduled section as planned.
We arrived to the hospital around 8:00am and were immediately given our consents to fill out. Then sat in the lobby with my MIL and neice for about 15 minutes before they came and took us back.
Both my husband and I undressed, I put on the hospital gown and he put on scrubs and a head bonnet. He looked like a doctor and I kept teasing him about it. Before that they sent him out to eat something and stated that they do not allow anyone back without them having eaten. We certainly did not want him to pass out, so he rushed off to eat and then came back. By then I had been shaven to prep the surgical area, given a IV with saline and a baby monitor put on. It was so cool to hear Lil' Butterbean's heartbeat like that. It was also one thing I enjoyed since I thought I would miss out on that having a section. Her hb was around 125 the whole while, but with my lying on my back she did not care for it so I had to roll to my left side, which has always been her favorite side. Soon we were tagged and I was taken back to the OR to get the spinal block.
Talk about an anxious walk. I had prayed and encouraged myself by reminding myself that God had brought us this far and now it was up to me to be brave and not fear the spinal. He has proven to me the type of God He is and the least I could do is face this next hurdle with faith. Prior to getting the block, the anesthesiologist came in to brief me. We spoke about drug interactions. I told him how when I had the myomectomy some drug I was given made me itch. He identified it as duramorph and said I would also get it this time, then advised me to ask the nurse for something to conteract the itching. We discussed my arms being restrained, because I did not want that. He told me it'd be loosely tied and not to fear it. Of course my request that my husband come back with me for the spinal was shot down. It was against hospital policy. So I walked back and went in to the very cold OR with the nurse. She was fantastic in comforting me. I sat on the side of the bed and rolled forward and the anethesiologist did his thing. One shot to numb me a bit and then the spinal block. Just a little bit of burning,nothing serious at all. next thing I knew my legs were tingling and getting numb. They had me lay flat. My OB was there prepping. Everyone introduced themselves and it was a beautiful thing.
My husband came in last armed with the camera. By then I was having some anxiety because I was trying to move my legs and could not. I literally started freaking. I told my husband I did not think I could do this. He immediately began to comfort me and I could feel him holding one of my arms that had not been tied down. I can tell you now I see why they tie the arms down, because I would have been flalling them all around if they had not. What's more it was VERY loosely tied down, not like Frankenstein at all. At any rate, my anethesiologist kept asking me how I was doing and monitoring everything. I told him I was completely freaking out, so he gave me something because I got better and calmer. He gave me oxygen and told me I was doing great. My BP had dropped a tad so that was contributing to my anxiety. Mr. Butterbean Sr. reassured me and told me his focus was on me and making sure I was okay. That put me at ease.
I could feel pulling and tugging and hear my OB talking a bit. I think I heard him mention adhesions from the myomectomy. I am going to order his operative report to get all the details. I felt tugging and pulling. Then lots of tugging and pulling and then I felt like I was empty. I told my husband 'I am empty'. Then I heard our miracle crying and my husband say 'Oh look at her'. I could hear in his voice that he was overwhelmed. I just continued to take it all in as I listened to Lil' Butterbean cry and cry. I told myself in advance I would not get upset with her crying and me not being able to comfort her immediately, because she needed to cry to clearn her lungs out. Her apgar was high, but she had a little bit of difficulty breathing becuase she had fluid that had not had a chance to be squeezed out since she did not come down the birth canal. She cried and and soon my husband went over to see her. Then he was back with me. After a few more moments they brought her over for me to see and then took her back for some additonal stuff they do. After that, they gave her to my husband and he brought her over to me and I just stared into her little, precious face. Our miracle was here!!! The staff was nice enough to take photos and I tell you, they all seemed to genuinely care. The anesthesiologist commented on how beautiful she was and what a blessing she was. I could not have agreed more.
In the meantime my doctor was stitching me up and opted to do the staples and an injection to help reduce keloids for me (since I had gotten some from the myomectomy scar). After he was done, he told me everything went wonderfully and then commented that he followed all my instructions (from my birthing plan). He told the OR 'Oh yes, she had a list of instructions for me and I followed them all'. I just laughed. My husband then commented that we'd see him three more times for three more babies and our OB stated 'I don't take that as a threat. Just don't call me when the tuition bills come in'. It was a very nice atmosphere.
They took my oxygen away and took out the epidural. Transfered me to another bed and took me back to recovery. They put Lil' Butterbean on the bed, between my legs and we both went back to recovery where the nurse immediately took vitals and then put her to my breast for feeding. She latched on and had her first meal. Shortly after they came to take her in for a bath and I took a nap, then I was moved to my room and the baby soon followed. My fear of being separated from her was unfounded. They wanted her with me at all times and once we got in my room, she never left except for her hearing tests and weigh ins. I was VERY pleased with the service. We went to breast feeding classes and everything and lactation consultants came by the room to visit us. The entire experience was a blessing and I can't wait to do this again. Yes, i am already ready for the next baby. The doctor says we should wait 9-12 months.
A few days after the staples were but in, they were removed and steristrips put on. Removal was painless, just tiny pinches if that. I was actually up and out of bed that night. My legs were back within a few hours. Getting up the same day is really the best thing and helps you heal faster. By noon the next day my cathether was out (they put that in after the spinal so I did not feel a thing) and I was using the bathroom on my own and they took the IV out. The nurses said I was acting like a vaginal birth instead of a c-section. I credit this to the experience from the myomectomy and lots of faith in God! I barely needed any pain meds. It was not so much for the c-section pain, but for the pain from my uterus contracting when Lil' Butterbean was nursing. Ouch! But the beauty of it is, is my uterus was contracting quickly (they have to check this and it hurt a bit but nothing unbearable). The nurse actually pushes on the uterus to see where it is. They had given me pitocin immediately after the surgery to help with the uterus contracting too.
I stayed in the hospital for 4 days because that is what my insurance covered and I was able to get 3 meals a day and all the help I needed while healing.
Now 3 weeks out, I feel great. It was not a hard thing to care for Lil' Butterbean with the c-section. God gave me the strength to do what I needed to do to get the job done. The c-section experience was not bad like I thought, I did not feel slighted and like I said I can't wait to do it again!
My miracle is here and I could not be happier or prouder.
We arrived to the hospital around 8:00am and were immediately given our consents to fill out. Then sat in the lobby with my MIL and neice for about 15 minutes before they came and took us back.
Both my husband and I undressed, I put on the hospital gown and he put on scrubs and a head bonnet. He looked like a doctor and I kept teasing him about it. Before that they sent him out to eat something and stated that they do not allow anyone back without them having eaten. We certainly did not want him to pass out, so he rushed off to eat and then came back. By then I had been shaven to prep the surgical area, given a IV with saline and a baby monitor put on. It was so cool to hear Lil' Butterbean's heartbeat like that. It was also one thing I enjoyed since I thought I would miss out on that having a section. Her hb was around 125 the whole while, but with my lying on my back she did not care for it so I had to roll to my left side, which has always been her favorite side. Soon we were tagged and I was taken back to the OR to get the spinal block.
Talk about an anxious walk. I had prayed and encouraged myself by reminding myself that God had brought us this far and now it was up to me to be brave and not fear the spinal. He has proven to me the type of God He is and the least I could do is face this next hurdle with faith. Prior to getting the block, the anesthesiologist came in to brief me. We spoke about drug interactions. I told him how when I had the myomectomy some drug I was given made me itch. He identified it as duramorph and said I would also get it this time, then advised me to ask the nurse for something to conteract the itching. We discussed my arms being restrained, because I did not want that. He told me it'd be loosely tied and not to fear it. Of course my request that my husband come back with me for the spinal was shot down. It was against hospital policy. So I walked back and went in to the very cold OR with the nurse. She was fantastic in comforting me. I sat on the side of the bed and rolled forward and the anethesiologist did his thing. One shot to numb me a bit and then the spinal block. Just a little bit of burning,nothing serious at all. next thing I knew my legs were tingling and getting numb. They had me lay flat. My OB was there prepping. Everyone introduced themselves and it was a beautiful thing.
My husband came in last armed with the camera. By then I was having some anxiety because I was trying to move my legs and could not. I literally started freaking. I told my husband I did not think I could do this. He immediately began to comfort me and I could feel him holding one of my arms that had not been tied down. I can tell you now I see why they tie the arms down, because I would have been flalling them all around if they had not. What's more it was VERY loosely tied down, not like Frankenstein at all. At any rate, my anethesiologist kept asking me how I was doing and monitoring everything. I told him I was completely freaking out, so he gave me something because I got better and calmer. He gave me oxygen and told me I was doing great. My BP had dropped a tad so that was contributing to my anxiety. Mr. Butterbean Sr. reassured me and told me his focus was on me and making sure I was okay. That put me at ease.
I could feel pulling and tugging and hear my OB talking a bit. I think I heard him mention adhesions from the myomectomy. I am going to order his operative report to get all the details. I felt tugging and pulling. Then lots of tugging and pulling and then I felt like I was empty. I told my husband 'I am empty'. Then I heard our miracle crying and my husband say 'Oh look at her'. I could hear in his voice that he was overwhelmed. I just continued to take it all in as I listened to Lil' Butterbean cry and cry. I told myself in advance I would not get upset with her crying and me not being able to comfort her immediately, because she needed to cry to clearn her lungs out. Her apgar was high, but she had a little bit of difficulty breathing becuase she had fluid that had not had a chance to be squeezed out since she did not come down the birth canal. She cried and and soon my husband went over to see her. Then he was back with me. After a few more moments they brought her over for me to see and then took her back for some additonal stuff they do. After that, they gave her to my husband and he brought her over to me and I just stared into her little, precious face. Our miracle was here!!! The staff was nice enough to take photos and I tell you, they all seemed to genuinely care. The anesthesiologist commented on how beautiful she was and what a blessing she was. I could not have agreed more.
In the meantime my doctor was stitching me up and opted to do the staples and an injection to help reduce keloids for me (since I had gotten some from the myomectomy scar). After he was done, he told me everything went wonderfully and then commented that he followed all my instructions (from my birthing plan). He told the OR 'Oh yes, she had a list of instructions for me and I followed them all'. I just laughed. My husband then commented that we'd see him three more times for three more babies and our OB stated 'I don't take that as a threat. Just don't call me when the tuition bills come in'. It was a very nice atmosphere.
They took my oxygen away and took out the epidural. Transfered me to another bed and took me back to recovery. They put Lil' Butterbean on the bed, between my legs and we both went back to recovery where the nurse immediately took vitals and then put her to my breast for feeding. She latched on and had her first meal. Shortly after they came to take her in for a bath and I took a nap, then I was moved to my room and the baby soon followed. My fear of being separated from her was unfounded. They wanted her with me at all times and once we got in my room, she never left except for her hearing tests and weigh ins. I was VERY pleased with the service. We went to breast feeding classes and everything and lactation consultants came by the room to visit us. The entire experience was a blessing and I can't wait to do this again. Yes, i am already ready for the next baby. The doctor says we should wait 9-12 months.
A few days after the staples were but in, they were removed and steristrips put on. Removal was painless, just tiny pinches if that. I was actually up and out of bed that night. My legs were back within a few hours. Getting up the same day is really the best thing and helps you heal faster. By noon the next day my cathether was out (they put that in after the spinal so I did not feel a thing) and I was using the bathroom on my own and they took the IV out. The nurses said I was acting like a vaginal birth instead of a c-section. I credit this to the experience from the myomectomy and lots of faith in God! I barely needed any pain meds. It was not so much for the c-section pain, but for the pain from my uterus contracting when Lil' Butterbean was nursing. Ouch! But the beauty of it is, is my uterus was contracting quickly (they have to check this and it hurt a bit but nothing unbearable). The nurse actually pushes on the uterus to see where it is. They had given me pitocin immediately after the surgery to help with the uterus contracting too.
I stayed in the hospital for 4 days because that is what my insurance covered and I was able to get 3 meals a day and all the help I needed while healing.
Now 3 weeks out, I feel great. It was not a hard thing to care for Lil' Butterbean with the c-section. God gave me the strength to do what I needed to do to get the job done. The c-section experience was not bad like I thought, I did not feel slighted and like I said I can't wait to do it again!
My miracle is here and I could not be happier or prouder.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Week 38, Day 2
So sex makes the baby some faster, eh? I am going to put it to the test. I told my co-worker I think that is just something they say to make us have sex with our partners. But we shall see.
I was having stronger and longer Braxton Hicks a few days ago with some shooting around my back. Nothing that doubled me over, but I felt it. I told my sister about this and she said ‘um hmmm, it was 3 or 4 days for me before the baby came when that started happening’. We are having lots of movement too. My little girl is just out of room and that’s all to it. Between the movement and contractions, I can tell the end is near, how near? I am not sure. I reported everything to my doctor who told me to tell the contractions to behave until next week when we have our planned c/s. He said if I have more than 4 contractions an hour that last longer than 1 minute to come in. I say, if my water breaks I will go on in.
I am bloated and my nose is constantly peeling. I mean my nose is so flaky its not funny. The more I grease it up the more it flakes. Alas, I give in. I have braided my hair and plan to do a manicure, pedicure and eyebrow arch on Friday (if I last). That way I’ll look decent at the hospital. As it stands, I just want to be able to sleep on my back atleast, the stomach will come after I heal. I want my arm to stop going numb and my feet and fingers to stop swelling. I can’t even wear my wedding rings. But its all part of the game plan and victory will be mine in the end!
We got the travel system Monday. Oh its so cute. I also got the bassinet off craigslist and washed every part of it. I am going to assemble it tonight and my husband is going to set up the main level of the house for me when I get home. I am so excited and anxious! I am one day closer to holding my Lil’ Butterbean. Pregnancy has been a wonderful journey and I can’t wait to share our birth story.
I was having stronger and longer Braxton Hicks a few days ago with some shooting around my back. Nothing that doubled me over, but I felt it. I told my sister about this and she said ‘um hmmm, it was 3 or 4 days for me before the baby came when that started happening’. We are having lots of movement too. My little girl is just out of room and that’s all to it. Between the movement and contractions, I can tell the end is near, how near? I am not sure. I reported everything to my doctor who told me to tell the contractions to behave until next week when we have our planned c/s. He said if I have more than 4 contractions an hour that last longer than 1 minute to come in. I say, if my water breaks I will go on in.
I am bloated and my nose is constantly peeling. I mean my nose is so flaky its not funny. The more I grease it up the more it flakes. Alas, I give in. I have braided my hair and plan to do a manicure, pedicure and eyebrow arch on Friday (if I last). That way I’ll look decent at the hospital. As it stands, I just want to be able to sleep on my back atleast, the stomach will come after I heal. I want my arm to stop going numb and my feet and fingers to stop swelling. I can’t even wear my wedding rings. But its all part of the game plan and victory will be mine in the end!
We got the travel system Monday. Oh its so cute. I also got the bassinet off craigslist and washed every part of it. I am going to assemble it tonight and my husband is going to set up the main level of the house for me when I get home. I am so excited and anxious! I am one day closer to holding my Lil’ Butterbean. Pregnancy has been a wonderful journey and I can’t wait to share our birth story.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Week 37, Day 3
14 more days until I hold my Lil’ Butterbean. At least that is the plan. For some reason I do not believe Lil’ Butterbean is going to stick to the plan, but it’s all up to God to decide. I’ve had a few people tell me that they think the last week in July will be the time. I agree as I have always thought my baby would be born at 38 weeks. Now I long for the desire to go into labor naturally even if it results in c/s. What I mean is, I want Lil’ Butterbean to choose her own due date, to feel some contractions and then do the c/s. I am opting for that next pregnancy since I did not do it this time. But like I said I think Lil’ Butterbean will make her debut and I will get to experience all of that and be happy to get a c/s as opposed to pushing her out.
Sunday, we went on the hospital tour and that was informative and fun. It just helps reinforce things for Mr. Butterbean Sr. and get him mentally prepped. He is so anxious to meet our little girl and it’s quite precious to me. She is sooooooo active and he has seen and felt her movements lately. He told me that it seems like she wants to come out. I told him I think so. One night he said I grunted in my sleep all night and he was afraid to sleep for something happening. I told him it’s just his little one up and doing some aggressive movement, movement that I am sure will pop the bag and send me into labor. But we will see. I just brace myself for what may happen at any moment.
In the meantime, I am tired because I am not getting the sleep they suggest. How can I when the baby is so active at sleep time and I can barely get comfortable? On top of that the feet and hands are slightly swollen and my face and nose have just taken a turn for the worse (LOL!!). I feel bloated, my breasts are changing more than ever now and when I wake in the morning my eyes are red and puffy. It ain’t pretty, but that is what’s up. Soon I will be beaming and glowing again, when I see this little girl and hold her close. I can’t wait!
Sunday, we went on the hospital tour and that was informative and fun. It just helps reinforce things for Mr. Butterbean Sr. and get him mentally prepped. He is so anxious to meet our little girl and it’s quite precious to me. She is sooooooo active and he has seen and felt her movements lately. He told me that it seems like she wants to come out. I told him I think so. One night he said I grunted in my sleep all night and he was afraid to sleep for something happening. I told him it’s just his little one up and doing some aggressive movement, movement that I am sure will pop the bag and send me into labor. But we will see. I just brace myself for what may happen at any moment.
In the meantime, I am tired because I am not getting the sleep they suggest. How can I when the baby is so active at sleep time and I can barely get comfortable? On top of that the feet and hands are slightly swollen and my face and nose have just taken a turn for the worse (LOL!!). I feel bloated, my breasts are changing more than ever now and when I wake in the morning my eyes are red and puffy. It ain’t pretty, but that is what’s up. Soon I will be beaming and glowing again, when I see this little girl and hold her close. I can’t wait!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Almost 9 months
I am ready today. I have been going back and forth regarding delivery, not quite ready and a little anxious, wanting the baby all to myself, loving our time together…but today, I feel ready. I think it has more to do with my physical than my mental. My body is ready for this to end it seems. I have the puffiness in my face and feet, inability to get enough sleep and need to do some real body detoxing. I remember one of my co-workers saying ‘I am so over the whole pregnancy thing’ when she was at the end. I don’t feel like that, just feel like my body is saying ‘I can’t take much more’. Not to mention one of my co-workers wives just delivered a 9lb 1oz baby boy and another just went on maternity leave with hopes the baby will come soon.
My sleep is off now. This is the time they say get as much rest as you can, but my 9 hours are just not enough anymore. I need 12. This weekend I slept in both days and found myself waking up after 12 hours, so I know that is what I need. Last night I was down at 9:15 but I certainly did not get 9 hours of sleep. I was up a bit waiting on Lil’ butterbean to settle down, then up a few times for potty breaks, tossing from side to side unable to get comfortable, hot, cold, thirsty and just waiting on those annoying birds to start their daggone chirping outside my window (turns out they did not start until around 6:30am as opposed to 4:30am). How am I supposed to get sleep like this? By the time the baby comes I’ll be doubly exhausted.
On another note, I did some good work in the nursery. I hung the curtains and the wall art, I febreezed the gilder and ottoman, I washed her clothes to take to the hospital. Today I’ll finish washing a few other things and pack her bag. I am going home at lunchtime today to do some more work, like sort the recycle, because Mr. Butterbean Sr. refuses to accept recycling is not just a good thing, it’s the law in our area. As I was folding Lil’ Butterbean’s clothes I marveled at the tiny little newborn pants, then thought wonder if they will be high waters on those long grasshopper legs the doctors say she has. LOL!!! Its okay, she’ll get one good wear out of them atleast. Tonight I’ll get the little socks I purchased at the Mom’s swap meet and wash those, along with a couple receiving blankets and stuff.
Get this, one of my neighbors heard me talking about breast feeding and gave me a medela pump! I was so pleased, she said she was going to give it to goodwill and I encouraged her to put it on Craigslist or Ebay, but she said she does not have the patience for that. So she gave it to me along with 2 receiving blankets and a little seat (the name escapes me now). I thought it was such a generous gift. So that’s one other thing I don’t have to worry about purchasing. YIPPEE!!!
So tomorrow is our next appointment and I am taking questions from my birthing plan in to go over. After today I go every week, but the doctor’s told me I do not have to do the internal exams since I am having a c/s. Well that’s a plus, my doctor has some pretty big hands. Ouch!
My sleep is off now. This is the time they say get as much rest as you can, but my 9 hours are just not enough anymore. I need 12. This weekend I slept in both days and found myself waking up after 12 hours, so I know that is what I need. Last night I was down at 9:15 but I certainly did not get 9 hours of sleep. I was up a bit waiting on Lil’ butterbean to settle down, then up a few times for potty breaks, tossing from side to side unable to get comfortable, hot, cold, thirsty and just waiting on those annoying birds to start their daggone chirping outside my window (turns out they did not start until around 6:30am as opposed to 4:30am). How am I supposed to get sleep like this? By the time the baby comes I’ll be doubly exhausted.
On another note, I did some good work in the nursery. I hung the curtains and the wall art, I febreezed the gilder and ottoman, I washed her clothes to take to the hospital. Today I’ll finish washing a few other things and pack her bag. I am going home at lunchtime today to do some more work, like sort the recycle, because Mr. Butterbean Sr. refuses to accept recycling is not just a good thing, it’s the law in our area. As I was folding Lil’ Butterbean’s clothes I marveled at the tiny little newborn pants, then thought wonder if they will be high waters on those long grasshopper legs the doctors say she has. LOL!!! Its okay, she’ll get one good wear out of them atleast. Tonight I’ll get the little socks I purchased at the Mom’s swap meet and wash those, along with a couple receiving blankets and stuff.
Get this, one of my neighbors heard me talking about breast feeding and gave me a medela pump! I was so pleased, she said she was going to give it to goodwill and I encouraged her to put it on Craigslist or Ebay, but she said she does not have the patience for that. So she gave it to me along with 2 receiving blankets and a little seat (the name escapes me now). I thought it was such a generous gift. So that’s one other thing I don’t have to worry about purchasing. YIPPEE!!!
So tomorrow is our next appointment and I am taking questions from my birthing plan in to go over. After today I go every week, but the doctor’s told me I do not have to do the internal exams since I am having a c/s. Well that’s a plus, my doctor has some pretty big hands. Ouch!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
What's New at 34 Weeks?
What’s new at 34 weeks – my teeth hurt. I woke up the other morning to aching teeth. I read that this is part of the body getting lax and ready to give birth. My clumsiness and forgetfulness are in high gear. My hair, which normally grows fast anyway, seems to be sprouting like a chia pet. My feet are slightly swollen, my abdomen is tight when I get up from sitting and my Braxton Hicks are really more noticeable.
All this preparation...and I gotta have a c-section.
Week 34, Day 1
Another great check-up for Lil’ Butterbean. Her heartbeat was very strong again yesterday and she is still head down. Of course, she keeps me going with lots of activity, but I love that too. We have 5 more weeks to go and I am anxious but slightly dreading the end of our journey together. I know I must sound selfish but I have bonded so much with her and I don’t want anyone else entering our union. LOL!!! I know, I know it will be even better when she is born and Mr. Butterbean Sr. has to be a part of all this too, but still…
No one could have ever told me how much I would enjoy pregnancy. I don’t know if it is because I struggled to conceive and fought and prayed for this baby that I am enjoying it so much or that I really can’t believe it is happening. I mean, I always knew it would happen but I am still in awe. Yesterday I passed by the mirror in the bathroom and I actually stopped to do a double take. I just stared at myself in the mirror, marveling over my pregnant belly, how my nose has spread (and I hope it stops) and I look like one of those pregnant women I’ve seen who are ready to pop, the ones who would cause my eyes to fill with tears and my heart to ache as I longed for a baby in my womb. I just smiled and praised God for this miracle. When I feel my baby move inside of me, I am in awe, unbelieving that some women receive this gift so easily and could care less about it or that they are not exceedingly happy that God has answered. Everyday with my baby is a miracle to me. It is a reason to get up out of bed and go forward with my day, a reason to rejoice and be glad. I am so very glad!
So, as I count down these final 5 weeks I have mixed emotions. I know I’ll be back telling you guys how sleepy I am or how I cannot imagine life without my little one and how seeing her face brings me such joy, but for now I am equally happy to have her tucked safely inside of me, with me every moment. It truly brings tears of joy to my eyes. I will never cease to praise God for answering our prayers. It was not as if I was so deserving, but he saw fit to answer and all I can do is be thankful.
No one could have ever told me how much I would enjoy pregnancy. I don’t know if it is because I struggled to conceive and fought and prayed for this baby that I am enjoying it so much or that I really can’t believe it is happening. I mean, I always knew it would happen but I am still in awe. Yesterday I passed by the mirror in the bathroom and I actually stopped to do a double take. I just stared at myself in the mirror, marveling over my pregnant belly, how my nose has spread (and I hope it stops) and I look like one of those pregnant women I’ve seen who are ready to pop, the ones who would cause my eyes to fill with tears and my heart to ache as I longed for a baby in my womb. I just smiled and praised God for this miracle. When I feel my baby move inside of me, I am in awe, unbelieving that some women receive this gift so easily and could care less about it or that they are not exceedingly happy that God has answered. Everyday with my baby is a miracle to me. It is a reason to get up out of bed and go forward with my day, a reason to rejoice and be glad. I am so very glad!
So, as I count down these final 5 weeks I have mixed emotions. I know I’ll be back telling you guys how sleepy I am or how I cannot imagine life without my little one and how seeing her face brings me such joy, but for now I am equally happy to have her tucked safely inside of me, with me every moment. It truly brings tears of joy to my eyes. I will never cease to praise God for answering our prayers. It was not as if I was so deserving, but he saw fit to answer and all I can do is be thankful.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Week 33, Day 1
The date has been set for our c-section. It will be August 5, 2009 at 9:30am. I will be 39 weeks and 1 day. I wanted to schedule as closely as I could to week 40. It is sort of neat to be able to put a date and time to it. Original due date is August 11 and Mr. Butterbean Sr. selected the 5th since I was born on the 5th. I was thinking along the same lines as well.
Since my last post, we attended a c-section birth class to help prepare us for what is to come. It was informative and Mr. Butterbean Sr. really got a lot of it. I can’t ask for much more. After we finished the class we viewed a live c-section birth video online. Another eye opener for Mr. Butterbean Sr. He called me at work several times through the video to say ‘this is serious’ or ‘this is deep’ or ‘Oh Lord’. Poor guy LOL!!! I told him I had seen a myomectomy video and so I sort of knew what to expect only thing is a baby comes out at the end instead of a big fibroid. Well when I sat down to watch it I was alarmed at the how huge the ladies uterus was. Good grief it was big, but what can one expect. The uterus is a friggin’ amazing muscle. It is normally the size of a fist and can stretch to the size of a watermelon. That is some powerful stuff! The video did help me and I think we will do fine, now that I know Mr. Butterbean Sr. has watched it and understands what is going to be happening. He said, all I know is to stay on the other side of the curtain and not look over there. LOL!!! He will be there to hold my hand and help me through this, so I am opting not to get a doula. Plus they only allow one person back so…
I am also writing up my birth plan. I gotta make sure I have stuff in writing so the doctor’s know what I expect. I don’t have time to leave it up to them to decide for me. For example, they say they strap your arms down during surgery. I say heck no! Who wants to be strapped down like Frankenstein? Not me. So I am requesting my arms be free. They say it is to prevent you from grabbing into the surgical area when you feel the pressure and tugging with them getting the baby out. I say ‘bullshyt, I’ve never noticed a laboring woman with her arms tied down’. But at any rate, we’ll see.
I am currently researching staples versus stitches or glue to close my incision and leaning heavily towards staples. It was a big surprise for me as well, but after my myomectomy scar healed so hideously, I think stapling will be a better option to reduce bumpiness and keloids. When they cut this ugly mess off I want it to heal more smoothly.
On a final note, I got to see my baby in action for the last time on u/s. They did some measuring to find she is about 4lbs 4oz, head down and ready to go. She has her mommie’s chubby cheeks and her daddy’s long legs (just as I predicted). I can’t wait to meet this little girl and am completely in love all over again.
Since my last post, we attended a c-section birth class to help prepare us for what is to come. It was informative and Mr. Butterbean Sr. really got a lot of it. I can’t ask for much more. After we finished the class we viewed a live c-section birth video online. Another eye opener for Mr. Butterbean Sr. He called me at work several times through the video to say ‘this is serious’ or ‘this is deep’ or ‘Oh Lord’. Poor guy LOL!!! I told him I had seen a myomectomy video and so I sort of knew what to expect only thing is a baby comes out at the end instead of a big fibroid. Well when I sat down to watch it I was alarmed at the how huge the ladies uterus was. Good grief it was big, but what can one expect. The uterus is a friggin’ amazing muscle. It is normally the size of a fist and can stretch to the size of a watermelon. That is some powerful stuff! The video did help me and I think we will do fine, now that I know Mr. Butterbean Sr. has watched it and understands what is going to be happening. He said, all I know is to stay on the other side of the curtain and not look over there. LOL!!! He will be there to hold my hand and help me through this, so I am opting not to get a doula. Plus they only allow one person back so…
I am also writing up my birth plan. I gotta make sure I have stuff in writing so the doctor’s know what I expect. I don’t have time to leave it up to them to decide for me. For example, they say they strap your arms down during surgery. I say heck no! Who wants to be strapped down like Frankenstein? Not me. So I am requesting my arms be free. They say it is to prevent you from grabbing into the surgical area when you feel the pressure and tugging with them getting the baby out. I say ‘bullshyt, I’ve never noticed a laboring woman with her arms tied down’. But at any rate, we’ll see.
I am currently researching staples versus stitches or glue to close my incision and leaning heavily towards staples. It was a big surprise for me as well, but after my myomectomy scar healed so hideously, I think stapling will be a better option to reduce bumpiness and keloids. When they cut this ugly mess off I want it to heal more smoothly.
On a final note, I got to see my baby in action for the last time on u/s. They did some measuring to find she is about 4lbs 4oz, head down and ready to go. She has her mommie’s chubby cheeks and her daddy’s long legs (just as I predicted). I can’t wait to meet this little girl and am completely in love all over again.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Week 30, Day 1
My final consult is complete. Mr. Butterbean Sr. and I went to have a consultation with a well respected and experienced doctor named Dr. Jean Tchabo. He specializes in VBAC births and so I wanted to meet with him and to make my final decision on VBAAM. He looked at the operative report and the x-rays of my HSG to see the shape of my uterus. He then recommended that we go ahead and do a c-section. He said of course vaginal birth can be tried, but it is not wise. He told me to not feel as if I had failed and to go ahead and do this and preserve my uterus. He said that if my uterus was to rupture at the incision, then the baby would come popping out of the top and the placenta would be deprived. He then said that he thinks it is a miracle that they removed such a large fibroid from my fundus and were able to stitch me up while keeping my tubes open. He mentioned that if my uterus ruptured I would probably not be able to have more children. He asked how many we wanted and I said 3-4 and he said it is possible, he has done up to 7 c-sections on one woman so it is possible. Mr. Butterbean Sr. asked about healing time, which the doctor said 9 months to heal and then try again. I was pleased with that tidbit.
Then Mr. Butterbean Sr. asked his favorite question, which is how tall will the baby be since he is well over 6 feet and I am barely over 5. The doctor said the baby will be a big baby and he thinks she’ll be 8 lbs because he can tell I am running out of space and will begin to grow out instead of up. He said I am probably having difficulty breathing at times, lots of indigestion and unable to eat a lot. He was dead on in what he was saying because often I have to stand up or stretch to give Lil’ Butterbean the room she needs. Sometimes I think she is busting out. So he recommended I eat 8 small meals a day and was very happy with the 10 pound weight gain. Now I was thinking Lil’ Butterbean would top out at 6lbs at the most, so a number like 8lbs has me floored. I guess we will see.
He made me feel so relaxed and at ease. And answered all of Mr. Butterbean Sr.’s questions at length. Now I see why he came so highly recommended by midwives. We were both happy with our visit when we left and will move ahead with scheduling the c-section at 39 weeks.
As of now, I am still feeling a lot of action from Lil’ Butterbean. I truly do not have a lot of appetite, but have been trekking along eating my small snacks every 2 hours and enjoying my time in the nursery (still not complete). I also am finalizing my gift registries in preparation for a couple of baby showers. That should be fun.
To God be the glory for all he has done, is doing and will do.
Then Mr. Butterbean Sr. asked his favorite question, which is how tall will the baby be since he is well over 6 feet and I am barely over 5. The doctor said the baby will be a big baby and he thinks she’ll be 8 lbs because he can tell I am running out of space and will begin to grow out instead of up. He said I am probably having difficulty breathing at times, lots of indigestion and unable to eat a lot. He was dead on in what he was saying because often I have to stand up or stretch to give Lil’ Butterbean the room she needs. Sometimes I think she is busting out. So he recommended I eat 8 small meals a day and was very happy with the 10 pound weight gain. Now I was thinking Lil’ Butterbean would top out at 6lbs at the most, so a number like 8lbs has me floored. I guess we will see.
He made me feel so relaxed and at ease. And answered all of Mr. Butterbean Sr.’s questions at length. Now I see why he came so highly recommended by midwives. We were both happy with our visit when we left and will move ahead with scheduling the c-section at 39 weeks.
As of now, I am still feeling a lot of action from Lil’ Butterbean. I truly do not have a lot of appetite, but have been trekking along eating my small snacks every 2 hours and enjoying my time in the nursery (still not complete). I also am finalizing my gift registries in preparation for a couple of baby showers. That should be fun.
To God be the glory for all he has done, is doing and will do.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Week 29, day 2
So I passed the glucose challenge with an 87. Anything under 135 is good. I guess the egg trick worked, so thanks to my blogger friend at Searching for Serenity for the tip. I had been told that you need to be fasting, but the instructions say you do not have to be fasting. I had a fried egg 1 hour prior to testing and came out on top. I also cut back on sweets that week too so I know that helped.
My thyroid testing is also good and within range. Thank goodness. Now that I have Hashimotos Syndrome we have to keep a close watch on it. I had a thyroid u/s last week and it was stable. I imagine the worst is over and I won’t have much more issue until I am pregnant again.
Speaking of being pregnant my sister’s good friend just announced she is 4 months along with triplets. She had miscarried a few years back and struggled to conceive after that. I am not sure if she did in vitro or not, but what does it matter. It is a miracle in and of itself and I congratulated her 3 times over! God is a miracle worker and every day that I wake up and feel my butterbean move, I realize his grace, mercy and power and that I have favor with him. Its spectacular.
Lil’ Butterbean continues to grow and grow. I visited my grammie this weekend and the family was in awe of the whole thing. I mean, they thought that I would not or did not want children and it is truly a blessing for them to see me great with child. Mr. Butterbean Sr. is as proud as a peacock and shows my belly off to everyone. His sister and family and parents came up over the past couple of weeks to visit as well. We have been busy but I have enjoyed it. Still have not wrapped up the nursery but its okay, I am going to spend the next couple of weeks doing that.
My excitement (and indigestion) is growing with each week. We are at week 29 and Lil’ Butterbean is kicking and moving around more and more each day. I still have issue with eating larger portions of food and getting sick, but I manage. Other than the frequent bathroom breaks (sometimes a river, sometimes a squirt) I have nothing much new to report. Everyday is a blessing and I am so in love with my little one and enjoying this pregnancy and gift from God.
My thyroid testing is also good and within range. Thank goodness. Now that I have Hashimotos Syndrome we have to keep a close watch on it. I had a thyroid u/s last week and it was stable. I imagine the worst is over and I won’t have much more issue until I am pregnant again.
Speaking of being pregnant my sister’s good friend just announced she is 4 months along with triplets. She had miscarried a few years back and struggled to conceive after that. I am not sure if she did in vitro or not, but what does it matter. It is a miracle in and of itself and I congratulated her 3 times over! God is a miracle worker and every day that I wake up and feel my butterbean move, I realize his grace, mercy and power and that I have favor with him. Its spectacular.
Lil’ Butterbean continues to grow and grow. I visited my grammie this weekend and the family was in awe of the whole thing. I mean, they thought that I would not or did not want children and it is truly a blessing for them to see me great with child. Mr. Butterbean Sr. is as proud as a peacock and shows my belly off to everyone. His sister and family and parents came up over the past couple of weeks to visit as well. We have been busy but I have enjoyed it. Still have not wrapped up the nursery but its okay, I am going to spend the next couple of weeks doing that.
My excitement (and indigestion) is growing with each week. We are at week 29 and Lil’ Butterbean is kicking and moving around more and more each day. I still have issue with eating larger portions of food and getting sick, but I manage. Other than the frequent bathroom breaks (sometimes a river, sometimes a squirt) I have nothing much new to report. Everyday is a blessing and I am so in love with my little one and enjoying this pregnancy and gift from God.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Indigestion
Boy has indigestion been eating my esophagus up. I had episodes early on, but now its seems I have a full 5 alarm fire in my throat. It feels like the food is just sitting right in my chest waiting to come flying out. Then if I burp, it tastes like stomach acid. YUCK. This Sunday after Mother’s Day breakfast, Mr. Butterbean and I decided to take a 40 minute ride to our favorite flea market. My indigestion started acting up and I was feeling clammy. Low and behold I had to tell him to pull over to the side of the road because I felt I’d toss my cookies any minute. You guys have understand that Mr. Butterbean gets chocked up in these types of situations, so when he looked at me and saw I was very serious he started to panic and pulled over. I jumped out of the car and thank God that the burst of cool wind hit me and cooled my body temp down enough that I was able to hold I out. I just leaned on the side of the car for a minute or two, got myself together and we kept going. I got back into the car to smell something awful. Poor Mr. Butterbean Sr. had nervous gas. I immediately erupted into laughter which must have helped my low BP go shooting up. LOL!!! When we got to our destination and I got out of the car, I burped and there it happened. I knew it needed to come out. After that I was relieved and shopped around for some great bargains. It was not much longer before a second bout of indigestion piped up. I immediately ate some left over ice-cream to cool the situation in my throat and that worked.
One of my co-workers suggested cold milk. She is Indian I think and she said in her country that’s what they drink to calm the indigestion. She also said ‘Your baby will have lots of hair’. We shall see.
One of my co-workers suggested cold milk. She is Indian I think and she said in her country that’s what they drink to calm the indigestion. She also said ‘Your baby will have lots of hair’. We shall see.
The Glucose Tolerance Test
I need some help on beating this glucose challenge test. A person like me is already borderline diabetic and I just don’t see how I am going to pass the first test. My co-worker who is 4 weeks ahead of me did hers last week, failed it and had to do the 3 hour one with blood draw. I don’t wanna hafta to dat! LOL!!! I told some of my co-workers that I will be cutting out as much sugar as I can in attempt to beat this test and they said ‘well that’s cheating’. I say whatever!!! How can one be expected to pass when you come in fasting and drink that sugary mess on an empty stomach. I am gagging just thinking about it.
As it stands we are mentally prepping ourselves for a planned c-section and opting for 8/5 to have it done, if that date is available. It seems weird to say I’ll be holding my Lil’ Butterbean on 8/5. This journey has been amazing so far and I know there are even better things coming our way. We have come from wishing on a star, hoping and praying to the realization that we are truly pregnant and going to be parents together for the first time. How cool is that?
As it stands we are mentally prepping ourselves for a planned c-section and opting for 8/5 to have it done, if that date is available. It seems weird to say I’ll be holding my Lil’ Butterbean on 8/5. This journey has been amazing so far and I know there are even better things coming our way. We have come from wishing on a star, hoping and praying to the realization that we are truly pregnant and going to be parents together for the first time. How cool is that?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
I Need To Go Potty!
What is happening to my digestive system? Things have been moving along well, but its seems I have hit some type of road block recently. To be quite honest I am constipated and my dried prunes are not working!!!
It is so ironic. I just finished skimming through Jenny McCarthy’s book Belly Laughs. She has a chapter in there titled Passing Stonehenge in which she speaks to the being massively constipated. I laughed at that one as I’ve been good about drinking my fluids and munching on a prune to keep me regular. Well, now I’ve arrived at month 6.5 and I am having some issues. I woke up feeling disgusted because I wanted to go last night but could not. Then I decided this morning I would sit on the toilet until something happened and a little something did, but not enough to make me feel better. I have tons of fruit, mango, grapes, watermelon, strawberries and I am calling for action. I have drank apple juice and have 2 bottled waters that I am working on. By golly something has got to move and hopefully it will be my bowels!
It is so ironic. I just finished skimming through Jenny McCarthy’s book Belly Laughs. She has a chapter in there titled Passing Stonehenge in which she speaks to the being massively constipated. I laughed at that one as I’ve been good about drinking my fluids and munching on a prune to keep me regular. Well, now I’ve arrived at month 6.5 and I am having some issues. I woke up feeling disgusted because I wanted to go last night but could not. Then I decided this morning I would sit on the toilet until something happened and a little something did, but not enough to make me feel better. I have tons of fruit, mango, grapes, watermelon, strawberries and I am calling for action. I have drank apple juice and have 2 bottled waters that I am working on. By golly something has got to move and hopefully it will be my bowels!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
VBAAM vs. C-section
It seems my plight is ending regarding seeking out second opinions regarding a Vaginal Birth After Abdominal Myomectomy (VBAAM). I have sent out five faxes to Obs and physicians in the area along with numerous emails to online doctors, midwives and doulas. Initially the OBs that I sent my letter and operative report too, gave me the same answer as my current OB office…no vaginal birth. So I figured that I better seek out the advice of some midwives since the OBs may have some contractual or liability issues that were standing in the way of them making an objective recommendation. I emailed a doula in my area who referred me to a physician that she said had allowed a woman in my situation with uterine scar at same fundal height to labor, however in the end she need a c-section. That physician and his partner stated that based on my operative report, they agreed that I should have a c-section. Still not convinced, I gleaned some information from the worthwile blog and found a wonderful midwife by the name of Elizabeth Stein who has written some articles on VBAC among other things. I sent her a fax with my information on yesterday and low and behold she called me this morning to discuss. She said ‘You may not like what I am about to say, but I recommend c-section based on what I have read in your operative report’. I told her that I really needed to hear it from a midwife instead of an OB because I know that midwives are more in tune with women’s needs and are more willing to do what OBs are not willing to because they are more concerned about liability issues etc. We chatted for about 5 minutes and she gave me some stories of VBAC births and the outcomes…one of which she spoke about a woman that labored but required c-section and they went in only to find the baby peaking back out at them through a hole in her uterus. That one sent me for a loop. All in all I trust her opinion more than anyone else, like I said I think it is because she is a midwife and I’ve read up on some articles she has written. I do still need to hear from two other doctors, one that a doula referred me to and the other is a mid-wife clinic in my area, but as of now I am focusing my energy more on planning a natural c-section and working with a doula to prepare for this event.
Either way I know I want a doula in the room to reassure both me and my hubbie of what is going on. After my myomectomy he was terrified seeing me laid up like that and he is still terrified. I need to get a handle on this so I can help comfort him and let him know that everything is going to be fine. I started researching this natural c-section birth and really like the idea of it. I also learned that I can have epidural anesthesia is I have a planned c-section instead of an emergency one. In epidural they will just numb the area that they’ll be cutting in so that I can’t feel it, but in general anesthesia I would be drugged up and unable to enjoy any part of the birth. I found a wonderful c-section plan at the ICAN site that had a wealth of information regarding the best way to plan a section. So, I am going to begin to focus my energy on this.
After reading those sites, I realize a c-section does not have to be as primitive looking as it once was. I imagined myself completely doped up on the table, Mr. Butterbean Sr. completely terrified as they cut me out and rip my baby out in a matter of seconds, then wisk her off to be checked, poked and prodded while I never get to hold her until I get back to my room and at that point I am too doped up to even hold her or remember anything that has happened. I don’t want that. But now I’ve learned that it does not have to be this way at all. I am still a bit skeptical about how I will care for my baby while trying to heal up, but in the end it may be my only option and I’ll just have to make do.
Having done all the research makes it much easier for me to accept rather than just being told what I have to do with my body. Now I feel it is truly my decision and I am making an informed one…that makes all the difference in the world.
Either way I know I want a doula in the room to reassure both me and my hubbie of what is going on. After my myomectomy he was terrified seeing me laid up like that and he is still terrified. I need to get a handle on this so I can help comfort him and let him know that everything is going to be fine. I started researching this natural c-section birth and really like the idea of it. I also learned that I can have epidural anesthesia is I have a planned c-section instead of an emergency one. In epidural they will just numb the area that they’ll be cutting in so that I can’t feel it, but in general anesthesia I would be drugged up and unable to enjoy any part of the birth. I found a wonderful c-section plan at the ICAN site that had a wealth of information regarding the best way to plan a section. So, I am going to begin to focus my energy on this.
After reading those sites, I realize a c-section does not have to be as primitive looking as it once was. I imagined myself completely doped up on the table, Mr. Butterbean Sr. completely terrified as they cut me out and rip my baby out in a matter of seconds, then wisk her off to be checked, poked and prodded while I never get to hold her until I get back to my room and at that point I am too doped up to even hold her or remember anything that has happened. I don’t want that. But now I’ve learned that it does not have to be this way at all. I am still a bit skeptical about how I will care for my baby while trying to heal up, but in the end it may be my only option and I’ll just have to make do.
Having done all the research makes it much easier for me to accept rather than just being told what I have to do with my body. Now I feel it is truly my decision and I am making an informed one…that makes all the difference in the world.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Assisted Cesarean Sections
I came across this article on assisted c-section while I was doing my research and exploring my options.I thought it was totally amazing how the mother actually pulled the baby out of her womb herself. She was the first to touch her baby. Most c-section stories I hear about have the mom all drugged up and dizzy and unaware of what is going on.
If I have to have a c-section I am opting for epidural anethesia and a certified doula!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Week 24, Day 1
Hello Blogosphere! I am still here trekking along with Lil’ Butterbean in tow. I am officially 6 months pregnant today and can’t believe how the time has flown. It seems like I lost track from week 19 to now!
As of now I am still researching Vaginal Birth After Abdominal Myomectomy (VBAAM...I am going to copyright/trademark this term, seems I might be the first to use it!) and fighting my OB clinic to allow me to attempt a trial of labor or at least go into labor before they try to cut my baby out of me. I have an appointment on Thursday and will be firing off tons of questions. I hope they are ready.
There is definitely NOT enough information on the website regarding VBAAM and I consider myself to be one of the most thorough researchers I know. LOL!!! There have been two sites that have helped me a bit more. The most informative one spoke specifically to incisions into the uterus at varying heights and styles. One at the same fundal height as my own. The other is a Q&A site I stumbled upon by chance. I was able to email the expert and got a quick response from her regarding my concerns. I have also spoken to a very knowledgeable doula in my area who referred me to a couple of doctors and supports my desire to keep my baby inside until she is ready to come out (up to 42 weeks) and to allow me to attempt the trial of labor or at least go into labor naturally without having a planned c-section. Mid-May I am going to a seminar at a mid-wife clinic in my area. I have also faxed a few doctors for their opinions. All in all I feel I am doing the best possible thing for me and my little one.
I am not saying that I want to do a trial of labor come hell or high water regardless of the threat to my and my baby’s life. I am saying I want to do what’s best for all of us. I want to go into labor naturally and not plan a date to have her evicted. I want to be monitored and make informed decisions regarding the best path. In the end I may need the c-section but let it not be a decision made now. I am in the thick of it all and the risks began the moment I conceived. God’s will shall be done and He will give me the answers.
In regards to other things, Lil’ Butterbean decided to pop and show and there is no hiding the fact that I am pregnant. I am still small and I think she will be a small baby but as long as she is healthy I am happy. She is active and I have learned her daily patterns. She has learned her daddy’s voice and gets excited when she hears him speaking. The other morning I put his hand on my tummy so he could feel her kicking around. She gave him some very strong kicks and he was amazed at how hard they were. It was so cute. I told him ‘she is saying, get up and eat!’
I noticed I am beginning to retain water and the salt in my diet is not helping. My nose has taken a turn for the worse and begin to spread a bit and my breasts are DEFINITELY going through some changes. I am at the point that I need to buy a bigger bra, I made it all the way to 6 months before needing this! My skin was also acting up, but the high grease diet can also be blamed for that.
I am now getting a grip on myself. It has been so nice having an appetite after not wanting to eat and barely being able to eat. I can eat now, but still in small portions and I’ve indulged enough. I have not drank enough water. Now its time for walking and toning to get me ready for labor along with some healthier eating so I don’t have to break bad habits immediately after I deliver. I have only gained 7 pounds but since I was overweight to begin with, I am not worried about that. I think it’d be fantastic to drop 15-20 pounds and come out of the pregnancy at a lower weight than I went in. Then again we’ve got 16 weeks to go and anything can happen. LOL!! Overall, I am totally enjoying this pregnancy thing.
As of now I am still researching Vaginal Birth After Abdominal Myomectomy (VBAAM...I am going to copyright/trademark this term, seems I might be the first to use it!) and fighting my OB clinic to allow me to attempt a trial of labor or at least go into labor before they try to cut my baby out of me. I have an appointment on Thursday and will be firing off tons of questions. I hope they are ready.
There is definitely NOT enough information on the website regarding VBAAM and I consider myself to be one of the most thorough researchers I know. LOL!!! There have been two sites that have helped me a bit more. The most informative one spoke specifically to incisions into the uterus at varying heights and styles. One at the same fundal height as my own. The other is a Q&A site I stumbled upon by chance. I was able to email the expert and got a quick response from her regarding my concerns. I have also spoken to a very knowledgeable doula in my area who referred me to a couple of doctors and supports my desire to keep my baby inside until she is ready to come out (up to 42 weeks) and to allow me to attempt the trial of labor or at least go into labor naturally without having a planned c-section. Mid-May I am going to a seminar at a mid-wife clinic in my area. I have also faxed a few doctors for their opinions. All in all I feel I am doing the best possible thing for me and my little one.
I am not saying that I want to do a trial of labor come hell or high water regardless of the threat to my and my baby’s life. I am saying I want to do what’s best for all of us. I want to go into labor naturally and not plan a date to have her evicted. I want to be monitored and make informed decisions regarding the best path. In the end I may need the c-section but let it not be a decision made now. I am in the thick of it all and the risks began the moment I conceived. God’s will shall be done and He will give me the answers.
In regards to other things, Lil’ Butterbean decided to pop and show and there is no hiding the fact that I am pregnant. I am still small and I think she will be a small baby but as long as she is healthy I am happy. She is active and I have learned her daily patterns. She has learned her daddy’s voice and gets excited when she hears him speaking. The other morning I put his hand on my tummy so he could feel her kicking around. She gave him some very strong kicks and he was amazed at how hard they were. It was so cute. I told him ‘she is saying, get up and eat!’
I noticed I am beginning to retain water and the salt in my diet is not helping. My nose has taken a turn for the worse and begin to spread a bit and my breasts are DEFINITELY going through some changes. I am at the point that I need to buy a bigger bra, I made it all the way to 6 months before needing this! My skin was also acting up, but the high grease diet can also be blamed for that.
I am now getting a grip on myself. It has been so nice having an appetite after not wanting to eat and barely being able to eat. I can eat now, but still in small portions and I’ve indulged enough. I have not drank enough water. Now its time for walking and toning to get me ready for labor along with some healthier eating so I don’t have to break bad habits immediately after I deliver. I have only gained 7 pounds but since I was overweight to begin with, I am not worried about that. I think it’d be fantastic to drop 15-20 pounds and come out of the pregnancy at a lower weight than I went in. Then again we’ve got 16 weeks to go and anything can happen. LOL!! Overall, I am totally enjoying this pregnancy thing.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Week 22, Day 2
Five and a half months pregnant. Wow! Time seems to be picking up speed and flying by. Nothing that new to discuss expect at my last doctor’s visit the physician informed me that the practice voted a big fat no for me even attempting a vaginal birth after myomectomy. I have researched this topic at length and not found much information as should be available concerning it. I went to the fibroid geek site that I am a member of and found one woman after another saying ‘my doctor said I’ll have to have a c-section’. Well that’s what mine says too but I say I am in control of my own body and I will make my own decisions. The last doctor explained the situation to me in MUCH greater detail and even gave me a copy of the post op report from the doctor who performed the myomectomy as well as some referrals for other doctors since I told him I was going to get some other opinions. Granted he has 28 years of experience and that’s nothing to thumb your nose at, but still I feel as though there has to be other considerations. He said since my cut was on the fundus and so large (I had an 11 cm fibroid) that went all the way down to the soft pouch of the uterus, that there was just NO WAY! He said that my incision is on the working part of the uterus that is really working to push the baby down and out and therefore there was too great a risk of uterine rupture. He said vaginal birth may be better for me, but c-section is best for the baby. This rubbed me the wrong way and I laid into him telling him that I will do what is best for my baby. Somehow I don’t think cutting her out of me 2 weeks early is the right thing for her. I also need to be able to care for this very same baby once we get home and after being sliced once, I know what that was like and I simply could not imagine having to care for a small baby along with it. On top of that I want to give her siblings too and the constant slicing and dicing on my uterus is definitely not good for that.
All in all I am still researching and will be visiting 2 other doctors offices to see what they have to say. I will also research some midwives and doulahs to see what I can find. I am not 100% against c-section, I just think they should allow me to go into labor naturally and monitor to see how its going. From most reports uterine rupture occurs prior to deliver as late as 33 weeks. On top of that, if the doctors are so concerned about uterine rupture, I wonder what they’ll be doing to monitor me? More frequent u/s to monitor the uterus? What. I’ve got lots of questions for them and they better be prepared to answer and answer well!
I know it may seem like I am being ungrateful after my struggle with infertility, but I also do not think I am supposed to just ‘lay down and take’ whatever the doctors dish out. I think God works miracles and I have been put in this situation to show others how he works. I’ve prayed over this entire pregnancy and know that God is in control. He is on it and I told him I’ll get the info and wait on a word from Him. So far I think my little girl will be a small baby and I do believe that is a blessing so her size does not put too much stress on my mended uterus. I’ve gained 6 pounds total and I think I probably loss a good bit initially, so I am doing well. God will let me know what to do for sure!
On another note my baby girl is moving around and her kicks are stronger and stronger. I hum to her and sing and she even reacts to her daddy’s voice now. Its so cute and I am so very happy and blessed!
All in all I am still researching and will be visiting 2 other doctors offices to see what they have to say. I will also research some midwives and doulahs to see what I can find. I am not 100% against c-section, I just think they should allow me to go into labor naturally and monitor to see how its going. From most reports uterine rupture occurs prior to deliver as late as 33 weeks. On top of that, if the doctors are so concerned about uterine rupture, I wonder what they’ll be doing to monitor me? More frequent u/s to monitor the uterus? What. I’ve got lots of questions for them and they better be prepared to answer and answer well!
I know it may seem like I am being ungrateful after my struggle with infertility, but I also do not think I am supposed to just ‘lay down and take’ whatever the doctors dish out. I think God works miracles and I have been put in this situation to show others how he works. I’ve prayed over this entire pregnancy and know that God is in control. He is on it and I told him I’ll get the info and wait on a word from Him. So far I think my little girl will be a small baby and I do believe that is a blessing so her size does not put too much stress on my mended uterus. I’ve gained 6 pounds total and I think I probably loss a good bit initially, so I am doing well. God will let me know what to do for sure!
On another note my baby girl is moving around and her kicks are stronger and stronger. I hum to her and sing and she even reacts to her daddy’s voice now. Its so cute and I am so very happy and blessed!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Week 20, Day 4
Less than 20 weeks to go and I can’t believe it!
The past week has brought some slight disappointments for me. I finally went to the Endocrinologist to get the results of my FNA for my thyroid. Turns out I now have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. It is an autoimmune disease where the thryroid begins to attack itself and eventually stops working altogether. They think I will eventually need to go on thyroid replacement hormones, but as of my last check, my levels were fine. I have to go to the doctor more frequently for ultrasounds and bloodwork since I am preggers. It seems the extra demand for TSH during pregnancy has pushed my thyroid over the edge. I am not too terribly upset about it. It is something I can live with.
The other blow came yesterday at my OB visit. I had sent in a detailed letter with a request to be allowed to try a trial of labor instead of automatically being signed up for a c-section. After my myomectomy the specialist who performed my surgery told me that they highly recommended a c-section to deliver my babies because the uterus had been compromised by surgery and was not ‘as strong’ as before. Well, after almost two years of healing, I thought the risk was not that high. Turns out it is a bit higher than I thought because of where my fibroid was located and that is the reason the doctors are adamantly against me doing a vaginal birth. They fear uterine rupture during the labor since my incision was made on the fundus of the uterus and it is the major working part of the uterus during labor. The OB I saw yesterday really went into great detail with me to help me better understand. In the end I told him I’ll consult with a couple of other doctors and then decide. Next visit I’ll go in with my tons of questions to ask and then Mr. Butterbean Sr. and I will make our final decision. We are both against cesearean due to the heal time and then having to deal with a baby, plus I may (I pray to God I don’t) need another surgery for fibroid removal. We’ll see.
So, that’s what’s going on with me for now. I continue to grow day by day and marvel at this whole pregnancy thing. My nausea is about non-existent and my appetite has increased, but I can’t eat too much or I’ll get sick. I am able to cook dinner again and have a bit more energy now and I thank God for that. I continuously thank God for allowing an infertile like me to finally conceive. I thank Him for this opportunity that so many women take for granted or think they are entitled to just because they are women. I thank Him because He has proven to me that I can trust him to take care of me and I love Him for that.
We are moving along in this pregnancy and its nothing like I thought it would be, but I simply would not trade it for anything in this world.
The past week has brought some slight disappointments for me. I finally went to the Endocrinologist to get the results of my FNA for my thyroid. Turns out I now have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. It is an autoimmune disease where the thryroid begins to attack itself and eventually stops working altogether. They think I will eventually need to go on thyroid replacement hormones, but as of my last check, my levels were fine. I have to go to the doctor more frequently for ultrasounds and bloodwork since I am preggers. It seems the extra demand for TSH during pregnancy has pushed my thyroid over the edge. I am not too terribly upset about it. It is something I can live with.
The other blow came yesterday at my OB visit. I had sent in a detailed letter with a request to be allowed to try a trial of labor instead of automatically being signed up for a c-section. After my myomectomy the specialist who performed my surgery told me that they highly recommended a c-section to deliver my babies because the uterus had been compromised by surgery and was not ‘as strong’ as before. Well, after almost two years of healing, I thought the risk was not that high. Turns out it is a bit higher than I thought because of where my fibroid was located and that is the reason the doctors are adamantly against me doing a vaginal birth. They fear uterine rupture during the labor since my incision was made on the fundus of the uterus and it is the major working part of the uterus during labor. The OB I saw yesterday really went into great detail with me to help me better understand. In the end I told him I’ll consult with a couple of other doctors and then decide. Next visit I’ll go in with my tons of questions to ask and then Mr. Butterbean Sr. and I will make our final decision. We are both against cesearean due to the heal time and then having to deal with a baby, plus I may (I pray to God I don’t) need another surgery for fibroid removal. We’ll see.
So, that’s what’s going on with me for now. I continue to grow day by day and marvel at this whole pregnancy thing. My nausea is about non-existent and my appetite has increased, but I can’t eat too much or I’ll get sick. I am able to cook dinner again and have a bit more energy now and I thank God for that. I continuously thank God for allowing an infertile like me to finally conceive. I thank Him for this opportunity that so many women take for granted or think they are entitled to just because they are women. I thank Him because He has proven to me that I can trust him to take care of me and I love Him for that.
We are moving along in this pregnancy and its nothing like I thought it would be, but I simply would not trade it for anything in this world.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Anatomy Scan
The chinese lunar calendar was right for us... we are expecting a baby girl in August. She is perfect in every way and so very active.
We had our anatomy scan this morning and I got to see the heart, kidneys, measure the legs, arms and torso and all that good stuff. It all took about 30 minutes. Mr. Butterbean Sr was so into the whole thing, but when it came time to see the gender he did not want to believe it and had the tech show him twice. It was so funny. He is a bit dissappointed and I was too for a second. Its hard to believe that after all of my struggles with infertility and being blessed with a baby and then having the nerve to have a preference on what I wanted.
Now all I can think about is a baby girl, in a pink onsie, smelling like Johnson's baby lotion snuggled on my chest. Its gonna be a long 20 weeks yal!
I am in love!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Week 19, Day 1
Here me! I am still here plugging along with Lil’ Butterbean in tow. We have two more days before we do the anatomy scan. I am praying for a perfect baby and cannot wait to see all the perfect body parts.
Last night the baby had the hiccups. It was the cutest things. I had spicy cabbage, turkey and rice for dinner, then a slice of sweet potato pie made by my Great Aunt. It was so good. Next thing I knew Lil’ Butterbean began to dance and move around (I think that was due to the sugar in the pie). Then I started feeling these rhythmic movements. I figured out it was hiccups and I sat giggling in bliss, when Mr. Butterbean Sr. asked what was going on. I told him and then he had to feel and see for himself. It was so cute.
We are in the throws of preparing the nursery. We are moving from our huge master bedroom that will be divided into two smaller rooms and then moving into what is truly the master bedroom that we’ve used as a guest room. When we first looked at houses in the area, we noticed some had three upstairs rooms and some two. We ended up buying one of the two with the plan to divide the huge room into two. So now its time and I am so excited. I think by the end of April the nursery will be set! Yippee.
My DSD called in and left a message that it was urgent that she speak to her dad and she needed to talk to him about something. He was panicked thinking something was wrong. When he called her back she asked 'have you found out what the baby will be?'. That's all she wanted to know, she is banking on a baby sister!
Okay, so other than a huge growth spurt that left me with abdominal pains from the stretching, nothing much is going on. I have truly popped and am showing. I went out and got the Bella Band to help with my clothes since all the maternity clothes are a hot, frumpy mess. I am enjoying the Bella Band so far and recommend it to you all.
I’ll check back in on Thursday with the news from the anatomy scan. Keep your ear to the ground.
Last night the baby had the hiccups. It was the cutest things. I had spicy cabbage, turkey and rice for dinner, then a slice of sweet potato pie made by my Great Aunt. It was so good. Next thing I knew Lil’ Butterbean began to dance and move around (I think that was due to the sugar in the pie). Then I started feeling these rhythmic movements. I figured out it was hiccups and I sat giggling in bliss, when Mr. Butterbean Sr. asked what was going on. I told him and then he had to feel and see for himself. It was so cute.
We are in the throws of preparing the nursery. We are moving from our huge master bedroom that will be divided into two smaller rooms and then moving into what is truly the master bedroom that we’ve used as a guest room. When we first looked at houses in the area, we noticed some had three upstairs rooms and some two. We ended up buying one of the two with the plan to divide the huge room into two. So now its time and I am so excited. I think by the end of April the nursery will be set! Yippee.
My DSD called in and left a message that it was urgent that she speak to her dad and she needed to talk to him about something. He was panicked thinking something was wrong. When he called her back she asked 'have you found out what the baby will be?'. That's all she wanted to know, she is banking on a baby sister!
Okay, so other than a huge growth spurt that left me with abdominal pains from the stretching, nothing much is going on. I have truly popped and am showing. I went out and got the Bella Band to help with my clothes since all the maternity clothes are a hot, frumpy mess. I am enjoying the Bella Band so far and recommend it to you all.
I’ll check back in on Thursday with the news from the anatomy scan. Keep your ear to the ground.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Week 18, Day 1
When will the fatigue end?!?!?! I am like a sinking ship all through the day. I am in need of a serious nap right about now. It never fails. I had to lay my head down on my desk and just let whatever happen happen. My sister called and we chatted a bit about how I am doing. I told her I am 18 weeks today and feel as though I should be coming out of this sleepy stage. The good news is my nausea is almost gone. I only feel like I cannot eat too much and if I do then I’ll be sick.
Mr. Butterbean Sr. shocked me today by knowing that I was 18 weeks and that his email reminder did not come that updates him on my progress. He likes to be in the know about what is going on with his baby. He is convinced it is a boy but said today that he wants a healthy baby first and foremost but he does want a boy. He said he wanted to place a friendly bet against me because I want a girl. Well in actuality I want what he wants, a healthy baby first and foremost and then a boy. I came to realize this just over the past week or so. I think it’s more because that’s what he wants and he’s waited so long for this opportunity. All the lunar signs and most of my symptoms point to girl though. Its all good, to hold my Lil’ Butterbean and kiss and coo over him/her is really all I want. I also want the opportunity to do this a few more times. And from what I’ve learned about God…I know it will happen.
Mr. Butterbean Sr. shocked me today by knowing that I was 18 weeks and that his email reminder did not come that updates him on my progress. He likes to be in the know about what is going on with his baby. He is convinced it is a boy but said today that he wants a healthy baby first and foremost but he does want a boy. He said he wanted to place a friendly bet against me because I want a girl. Well in actuality I want what he wants, a healthy baby first and foremost and then a boy. I came to realize this just over the past week or so. I think it’s more because that’s what he wants and he’s waited so long for this opportunity. All the lunar signs and most of my symptoms point to girl though. Its all good, to hold my Lil’ Butterbean and kiss and coo over him/her is really all I want. I also want the opportunity to do this a few more times. And from what I’ve learned about God…I know it will happen.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Week 17, Day 2
The quickening! I felt distinct movement from my Lil’ Butterbean yesterday. I noticed it in week 16 as well but was not sure. It felt like little thumps on my abdomen, almost like gas bubbles. Yesterday I had a full bladder and had eaten a slice of chocolate cake and then was playing with my co-workers baby. That got Butterbean going for sure. It was some constant movement and I was delighted. After a while I was like hmmmm wonder what this will be like when Butterbean is bigger. I have nto felt anything today though. I think the fact that my bladder was so full really attributed to me being able to feel the baby.
So we are closer to our anatomy scan and hopefully finding out what we are having. The lunar calendar says girl and so does most of Mr. Butterbean Senior’s family. I have one co-worker betting on girl and another saying definitely boy. Mr. Butterbean Sr. is hoping and praying for a boy and now I am swaying towards a boy (especially after holding my co-workers son yesterday, he was sooooooo adorable in his powder blue outfit and conductors hat). Most of all I do want a healthy child first and foremost, then a boy. There I said it!
My loss of appetite is very mild now. I can eat but it can only be a small portion or I start going under. I am also quite gassy. Mr. Butterbean Sr. laughed at me because I went to use the bathroom and begin to toot like a horn. I was not able to control it. I am very private regarding my bathroom time, so when I told him I thought I felt the baby moving, he replied that ‘I would move too if you were f@rting like you did this morning’. I just gave him the side eye and told him I cannot help it. I thought, ‘The nerve of Mr. Trumpet butt to call me out’. But its all good, it is what it is and all a part of this wonderful journey to motherhood.
Toot, toot!!!!
So we are closer to our anatomy scan and hopefully finding out what we are having. The lunar calendar says girl and so does most of Mr. Butterbean Senior’s family. I have one co-worker betting on girl and another saying definitely boy. Mr. Butterbean Sr. is hoping and praying for a boy and now I am swaying towards a boy (especially after holding my co-workers son yesterday, he was sooooooo adorable in his powder blue outfit and conductors hat). Most of all I do want a healthy child first and foremost, then a boy. There I said it!
My loss of appetite is very mild now. I can eat but it can only be a small portion or I start going under. I am also quite gassy. Mr. Butterbean Sr. laughed at me because I went to use the bathroom and begin to toot like a horn. I was not able to control it. I am very private regarding my bathroom time, so when I told him I thought I felt the baby moving, he replied that ‘I would move too if you were f@rting like you did this morning’. I just gave him the side eye and told him I cannot help it. I thought, ‘The nerve of Mr. Trumpet butt to call me out’. But its all good, it is what it is and all a part of this wonderful journey to motherhood.
Toot, toot!!!!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Week 16, Day 4
I had my 16 week check up yesterday and heard Lil’ Butterbean’s heart beat. It was nice and strong at 140 beats. Seems to have gone down because it started out in the 160’s, then 150’s now 140’s. LBB (Lil’ Butterbean) may have been sleeping though so who knows. Mr. Butterbean Sr. was there of course only wanting to know when we can find out the sex of the baby. Our doctor told us in 2-4 weeks. Mr. Butterbean Sr. wanted 2 weeks and I wanted 4 weeks, so I said lets compromise on 3 weeks. He had a slight attitude. I tried to explain that 18 weeks may be too early to clear a get view of the gender, plus I wanted to be sure everything else is normal (heart, lungs etc). Well Mr. Butterbean Sr. snapped that he knows women who could tell the sex at 16 weeks. So I promptly shut down and got my blood drawn. We did a blood draw for spina bifida. While I was doing that I asked the tech what week she found out what she was having because she is currently due in April. She told me oh between 17 and 20 weeks, then another tech chimed in that its better to wait until 20 weeks because the baby is more developed and the u/s tech is really not concerned about the sex of the baby at all, they are most concerned about organ development and ensuring there are no anomalies. Wow! Sounded just like what I’d said, but by then Mr. Butterbean Sr. had taken his pouty mouth and sat in the lobby. After the blood draw I made my appointment which finalized for Mr. Butterbean Sr. that it would be 3 weeks and not 2. He was quite agitated. I attempted to tell him what the nurse had said, but he continued to be pissy. So I said ‘whatever’ which means so much more in the female language and hopped in my car and drove off.
Mr. Butterbean Sr. is so anxious to find out the sex of our baby. He knows it all because he has carried and delivered numerous babies himself and has a uterus and motherly instinct as well…NOT!
Anywho…the round ligament pain is getting me a bit. Most days I feel so sore and stiff around the waist. The lack of appetite has subsided too and now I can eat, just small portions though. I still have not gained any weight, but this is surely the last week of my regular clothes. I am going to go buy some maternity pants this weekend. Overall I still needs my naps but I am not as tired as before. So maybe the second trimester will be a lot different than the first. I am enjoying it all and taking it all in. Still waiting to feel those first movements though.
I hope everyone is well.
God Bless!
Mr. Butterbean Sr. is so anxious to find out the sex of our baby. He knows it all because he has carried and delivered numerous babies himself and has a uterus and motherly instinct as well…NOT!
Anywho…the round ligament pain is getting me a bit. Most days I feel so sore and stiff around the waist. The lack of appetite has subsided too and now I can eat, just small portions though. I still have not gained any weight, but this is surely the last week of my regular clothes. I am going to go buy some maternity pants this weekend. Overall I still needs my naps but I am not as tired as before. So maybe the second trimester will be a lot different than the first. I am enjoying it all and taking it all in. Still waiting to feel those first movements though.
I hope everyone is well.
God Bless!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Week 15, Day 1
Where has the time gone? I am at week 15 and feeling pretty darn good. I do have a slight cold, but I think that is due to the fluctuating temperatures in my area.
I am experiencing round ligament pains too. A little more than before. Its more like a soreness than pain. When I sneezed today it hurt and I whinced, but it is all good. My nausea and loss of appetite are still her but very mild. The loss of appetite is still more profound than the nausea. I had a cousin up for the weekend, she has had 5 boys and 1 girl. She told me I am surely having a girl because of my fatigue. I told her we'll see. The lunar calendar says girl too, but a few co-workers say boy. I don't care, I just want healthy! I think I only hae 4 more weeks until we go for the gender scan. How exciting is that?
So, I have fallen off a bit with my treadmill walking, but still doing my legs and arms. Gotta keep this old body in shape and ready to push the little one out.
I hope everyone is doing well out there in the blogosphere! Many Blessings to All!
I am experiencing round ligament pains too. A little more than before. Its more like a soreness than pain. When I sneezed today it hurt and I whinced, but it is all good. My nausea and loss of appetite are still her but very mild. The loss of appetite is still more profound than the nausea. I had a cousin up for the weekend, she has had 5 boys and 1 girl. She told me I am surely having a girl because of my fatigue. I told her we'll see. The lunar calendar says girl too, but a few co-workers say boy. I don't care, I just want healthy! I think I only hae 4 more weeks until we go for the gender scan. How exciting is that?
So, I have fallen off a bit with my treadmill walking, but still doing my legs and arms. Gotta keep this old body in shape and ready to push the little one out.
I hope everyone is doing well out there in the blogosphere! Many Blessings to All!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Thyroid Biopsy
So, I had the biopsy yesterday. I went on Tuesday for a check-up, the doctor was late as ever arriving and I was completely frustrated, but then he was so nice when I finally saw him and fit me in for biopsy so quickly, I let my frustration melt away. I drove to his other office yesterday, only to wait a full 60 mintues before being seen. Talk about enraged. I got the biopsy done and was out of there and when I was leaving another couple was complaining about the 45 minute late appointment with no explanation as to why. I figured I better do a review online so others will know. That's what I'll do when I am done here.
As for the Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA) of my thyroid, it went off without a hitch. I was a bit nervous when I saw all the needles but I was equipped witht he 23 Psalm and I recited it over and over through the entire procedure. I mean the whole time that he dug and juuged in my neck, I recited the 23 Psalm. It was comforting and helped me through it. I must say my neck is pretty sore today. He numbed me with one needle and I think the numbing agent stung more than anything else, then he stuck the biopsy needle in and sort of pushed and rotated it around getting a good sampling of the tissue. I hung tough through it and did not bleed much at all.
Now a TWW (two week wait) for results. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for benign cells. Malignant cells = cancer of the thyroid and the entire thing has to be removed. I bind up malignancy and cast it into the botoomless pits of hell where it belongs.
The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters, he restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for His name sake. Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadows of death, I will fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort. Thy preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thy annointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.
As for the Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA) of my thyroid, it went off without a hitch. I was a bit nervous when I saw all the needles but I was equipped witht he 23 Psalm and I recited it over and over through the entire procedure. I mean the whole time that he dug and juuged in my neck, I recited the 23 Psalm. It was comforting and helped me through it. I must say my neck is pretty sore today. He numbed me with one needle and I think the numbing agent stung more than anything else, then he stuck the biopsy needle in and sort of pushed and rotated it around getting a good sampling of the tissue. I hung tough through it and did not bleed much at all.
Now a TWW (two week wait) for results. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for benign cells. Malignant cells = cancer of the thyroid and the entire thing has to be removed. I bind up malignancy and cast it into the botoomless pits of hell where it belongs.
The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters, he restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for His name sake. Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadows of death, I will fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort. Thy preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thy annointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Second Trimester
Today marks the first day of my second trimester. I am officially 14 weeks along with this pregnancy with 26 more to go. Wow! Time does pass by doesn’t it? Seems like yesterday I was 4 weeks and just finding out about my amazing gift. I weighed myself this morning and I am still at my pre-pregnancy weight, not a pound gained, but I do expect that to change now that the babies development is mostly complete and now is the time for growing. I am expecting a half pound per week, but we will see. I just do not want to gain too much weight since I am already overweight and do not want to add any complications. Plus, my OB has informed me that they want me to do cesarean birth because of the myomectomy. I have opted against that and wrote them a nice long letter explaining why I am opting for a vaginal birth. I had been researching and came across a blog I enjoy reading and she had the same thing happen to her. She researched and wrote a letter and I took from I and wrote one myself. If they refuse to listen, I am going to look into getting a midwife or something and just side-step the whole OB situation altogether. They say they fear uterine rupture, so I figure with my myomectomy being 20 months prior to my first pregnancy and me trying to help myself by controlling weight gain I can have a smooth vaginal birth. No need to eat like a pig and be the size of a cow when I deliver. That’s too much weight to have to lose anyway. I am hoping to gain about 15 pounds total. We shall see.
I think the pangs I feel in my uterus is it expanding and accommodating Lil’ Butterbean. Sometimes I have to rub my tummy to try to cope. I also have some side pain, almost like ovulation pain on my right side. Is that round ligament pain? I try not to worry too much about any of it and let God do what he does. I have been moving along worry free and it is all by God’s grace. I have never been so nonchalant about things before and I never imagined I could be, but when you are blessed with the job of growing a little baby inside of you, the little things do not matter anymore and its only serious business. Today I go in for the thyroid biopsy. In the past I would be sick with worry, but not now. I gave that thing to the Lord God and left it there, that is something I have never been able to do completely. Now I can. BTW, thank you so much Anna for the beautiful prayer. It is so welcomed and appreciated.
So on with enjoying week 14 of my pregnancy. I am still a little nauseous and a have fatigue, but doing very well as far as I can see. Next appointment is 2/26 and I get to hear Lil’ Butterbean’s heartbeat. I can’t wait!
I think the pangs I feel in my uterus is it expanding and accommodating Lil’ Butterbean. Sometimes I have to rub my tummy to try to cope. I also have some side pain, almost like ovulation pain on my right side. Is that round ligament pain? I try not to worry too much about any of it and let God do what he does. I have been moving along worry free and it is all by God’s grace. I have never been so nonchalant about things before and I never imagined I could be, but when you are blessed with the job of growing a little baby inside of you, the little things do not matter anymore and its only serious business. Today I go in for the thyroid biopsy. In the past I would be sick with worry, but not now. I gave that thing to the Lord God and left it there, that is something I have never been able to do completely. Now I can. BTW, thank you so much Anna for the beautiful prayer. It is so welcomed and appreciated.
So on with enjoying week 14 of my pregnancy. I am still a little nauseous and a have fatigue, but doing very well as far as I can see. Next appointment is 2/26 and I get to hear Lil’ Butterbean’s heartbeat. I can’t wait!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I Fear Not...
because God is in control. It seems so much easier for me to accept then times before. The gift of my child has changed the way I think. I know that if God can bless me with a baby through all my trials, then there is nothing that I am unable to trust him to do.
I went in for my routine thyroid check only to find that one nodule has grown and now I need to have it biopsied. I have not told a soul except the blog world. I don’t want my husband to worry so I think I’ll just wait until I get the results. I got a voicemail from my endocrinologist. I knew something was up because they normally don’t call that quick. But instead of worrying all night, I cradled my belly and told God, ‘I give this to you’ and I went to bed. When I got the news I again said ‘Its in your hands God’ and kept on working. I fear not, the Lord is my Shepard.
I went in for my routine thyroid check only to find that one nodule has grown and now I need to have it biopsied. I have not told a soul except the blog world. I don’t want my husband to worry so I think I’ll just wait until I get the results. I got a voicemail from my endocrinologist. I knew something was up because they normally don’t call that quick. But instead of worrying all night, I cradled my belly and told God, ‘I give this to you’ and I went to bed. When I got the news I again said ‘Its in your hands God’ and kept on working. I fear not, the Lord is my Shepard.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Nuchal Fold Testing/Genetic Screening
Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. I mean a truly amazing day. I went in to have the Nuchal Fold testing done on Lil’ Butterbean. I got to lay there in awe for about 15 minutes watching my little one propel with his/her legs, suck his/her thumb, hiccup, roll and bob around. The tech was surprised at how active the baby is. She said ‘this one is doing baby aerobics’. We watched it moved in rhythmic motions that surprised both of us. Just by looking at all that action and energy I say it’s a boy, but then again as I watched I thought of my youngest niece and how she jumps and bounces off of everything and I said well maybe a wild girl. But whatever it is I was beaming from ear to ear watching. I am a proud momma already.
Mr. Butterbean Sr. missed the event because he had to work on the snow removal for our area. He has been working for 2 days straight, finally able to go in and relax this morning. We had an appointment this morning to hear the babies heartbeat. Its still nice and strong. Yesterday it was 159 beats! Healthy and strong.
The first part of the nuchal fold test was in range so I am waiting to get the blood work results back. All praises to God.
Mr. Butterbean Sr. missed the event because he had to work on the snow removal for our area. He has been working for 2 days straight, finally able to go in and relax this morning. We had an appointment this morning to hear the babies heartbeat. Its still nice and strong. Yesterday it was 159 beats! Healthy and strong.
The first part of the nuchal fold test was in range so I am waiting to get the blood work results back. All praises to God.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Week 12, Day 1
Well looks like I made it. I am officially 3 months along and was willing to announce to everyone that I am preggers. It is still new and exciting to me and hard to believe. Unfortunately, the mild nausea and lack of appetite are constant reminders of what's really going on. But I love it, so only complain a little bit.
Tomorrow I go in for nuchal fold testing. Mr. Butterbean Sr. wanted me to do it and I guess I am indifferent. So tomorrow I'll get to see my Lil' Butterbean on the big stage tomorrow and then again on Friday. That's beyond cool!
My sleepiness has increased, my nausea has subsided a bit, but my lack of appetite and aversion to meat is in full effect. We'll see what happens now.
The baby site says my baby is the size of an egg. All the way from a sunflower seed to an egg. Wow! Now more and more growing. I guess I better get my maternity pants soon!
Tomorrow I go in for nuchal fold testing. Mr. Butterbean Sr. wanted me to do it and I guess I am indifferent. So tomorrow I'll get to see my Lil' Butterbean on the big stage tomorrow and then again on Friday. That's beyond cool!
My sleepiness has increased, my nausea has subsided a bit, but my lack of appetite and aversion to meat is in full effect. We'll see what happens now.
The baby site says my baby is the size of an egg. All the way from a sunflower seed to an egg. Wow! Now more and more growing. I guess I better get my maternity pants soon!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Week 11, Day 1
Ahhh, what a historic day! Although I did not go to DC I did watch the history being made on CNN. It was awesome to watch Biden and then Obama take their oathes, them escort Bush and Cheney out (yippee) and then watching the numerous events that followed. I watched all day, napping and dosing and watching some more. I am so very excited about what is to come.
Yesterday was Martin Luther King Day. Imagine how my eyes filled with tears when I spoke to my 3 year old niece and she told me 'today is King Day and he had a dream'. Oh, I feel like my sister is the best mom in the world...rearing, loving and teaching her little ones these historic stories of our forefathers who fought so that we might have the freedoms and overflow that we have today. Today's inauguration was a HUGE downpayment on the dream that Dr. King had.
No true nausea, just small bouts of it. I do not have a huge appetite but am eating well. I feel I might be able to start cooking some balanced meals again. I have not eaten much today. I did have a good breakfast, some cereal, two slices of meatless pizza and 2 chocolate chip cookies. I think I will end the night with some oatmeal.
On top of all this, I am 11 weeks today. My baby is growing, although his/her head is huge (LOL!!) he/she looks more like a baby and I can't wait to hear the heart beating next week and see my little one. Oh what an exciting time. I cannot begin to thank God enough on this day especially. I am overjoyed and so excited about what life holds.
Yesterday was Martin Luther King Day. Imagine how my eyes filled with tears when I spoke to my 3 year old niece and she told me 'today is King Day and he had a dream'. Oh, I feel like my sister is the best mom in the world...rearing, loving and teaching her little ones these historic stories of our forefathers who fought so that we might have the freedoms and overflow that we have today. Today's inauguration was a HUGE downpayment on the dream that Dr. King had.
No true nausea, just small bouts of it. I do not have a huge appetite but am eating well. I feel I might be able to start cooking some balanced meals again. I have not eaten much today. I did have a good breakfast, some cereal, two slices of meatless pizza and 2 chocolate chip cookies. I think I will end the night with some oatmeal.
On top of all this, I am 11 weeks today. My baby is growing, although his/her head is huge (LOL!!) he/she looks more like a baby and I can't wait to hear the heart beating next week and see my little one. Oh what an exciting time. I cannot begin to thank God enough on this day especially. I am overjoyed and so excited about what life holds.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Week 10, Day 3
So my co-workers now know the big news. We all chatted about it for about an hour on Monday. My boss came with 2 important rules to live by. It was funny coming from him because he’s a quirky, nonchalant older guy. But he is a father and encouraged me, warned me how my life is about to change, then told me to take care of myself and not worry about flexing my hours like I had requested. He said ‘take all the time you need, I don’t care’. Just the words I wanted to hear.
So as of Monday my nausea is slowing down. On Monday I felt as though I’d toss my cookies, but I have been determined since Sunday to eat food and stop with the milk and cereal and feeling completely disgusted. I did well the last two days and hope I can continue. I even cooked on Monday. Poor Mr. Butterbean Sr. has loss weight with the lack of home cooked meals. I feel a little sorry for him, but know that he knows full well how to cook and then I don’t feel so bad. I think he was shocked to find food on Monday and he ate well, then he said, you cooked but did not even eat. I have a small aversion to meat and so I had the refried bean burrito and some beans and chips that I thoroughly enjoyed. I even had a burrito for lunch yesterday.
As of Tuesday, I have a metallic taste in my mouth. That’s new and different…and disgusting. But it all good. I just keep gargling with mouth wash and eating chilled grapes to help with that. On Monday I could feel some things happening inside, not sure what they were, but when I got my update on Tuesday it said my baby is now considered a fetus, looks more human-like and the yolk sac is gone. Yippee! We are on our way. I can’t wait for what the second trimester holds for us as we make this magnificent journey together.
I will say that I am more restless at night and finding the urge to sleep on my tummy. I am a side sleeper so I am unsure what that is about. I’ve gained maybe 1 or 2 pounds since starting out and I am pleased with that too. Hopefully I can keep myself under control. It is a goal of mine.
On to week 11!
So as of Monday my nausea is slowing down. On Monday I felt as though I’d toss my cookies, but I have been determined since Sunday to eat food and stop with the milk and cereal and feeling completely disgusted. I did well the last two days and hope I can continue. I even cooked on Monday. Poor Mr. Butterbean Sr. has loss weight with the lack of home cooked meals. I feel a little sorry for him, but know that he knows full well how to cook and then I don’t feel so bad. I think he was shocked to find food on Monday and he ate well, then he said, you cooked but did not even eat. I have a small aversion to meat and so I had the refried bean burrito and some beans and chips that I thoroughly enjoyed. I even had a burrito for lunch yesterday.
As of Tuesday, I have a metallic taste in my mouth. That’s new and different…and disgusting. But it all good. I just keep gargling with mouth wash and eating chilled grapes to help with that. On Monday I could feel some things happening inside, not sure what they were, but when I got my update on Tuesday it said my baby is now considered a fetus, looks more human-like and the yolk sac is gone. Yippee! We are on our way. I can’t wait for what the second trimester holds for us as we make this magnificent journey together.
I will say that I am more restless at night and finding the urge to sleep on my tummy. I am a side sleeper so I am unsure what that is about. I’ve gained maybe 1 or 2 pounds since starting out and I am pleased with that too. Hopefully I can keep myself under control. It is a goal of mine.
On to week 11!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Searching for Anna
Anna,
If you are reading this I never got your email that you said you sent me. Please send again.
If you are reading this I never got your email that you said you sent me. Please send again.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Week 9, Day 3
I had my first prenatal appointment yesterday. I did a consult, gave 5 tubes of blood for various testings and did a vaginal exam. Mr. Butterbean Sr. was there the entire time even through the exam. He sat in a corner squirming. I told him this can only help prepare him for the delivery that he thinks he'll be in the lobby for. Oh no you don't. If I have to walk through hell in gasoline drawers, surely he can be there to hold my hand. LOL!!! The doctor confirmed my due date of August 11th and answered a few questions we had. Of course Mr. Butterbean Sr. wanted to know about sex, as if he was not having any. I was surprised to hear that I can have sex. I told the doctor I was afraid to have an orgasm because I did not want to disturb my uterus, but she said orgasm is fine, its the semen that can sometimes cause cramping. So I giggled inside as I thought that we could have sex but my husband would have to withdraw or...dare I say it...not ejaculate. But the doctor suggested condoms. LOL!!!
Turns our I can still eat California roll sushi, just NO raw meats. YUMMY!
As of now, I've had a nasty cold for a few days so I think its suppressed the naseau. But as I am getting better, I am feeling it a little. But its just a little. I pray that is on the way OUT. Tired of it and have had enough. I say that knowing my naseau was mild compared to what I've seen.
I am breaking out like a teenager with two big red pimples on each check and one white one on my nose. Good grief! Its all good though I am happy to push along with my Butterbean in tow. Because I prayed for this child and God has given my petition that I asked for ~ I Samuel 1:27. Amen!
Turns our I can still eat California roll sushi, just NO raw meats. YUMMY!
As of now, I've had a nasty cold for a few days so I think its suppressed the naseau. But as I am getting better, I am feeling it a little. But its just a little. I pray that is on the way OUT. Tired of it and have had enough. I say that knowing my naseau was mild compared to what I've seen.
I am breaking out like a teenager with two big red pimples on each check and one white one on my nose. Good grief! Its all good though I am happy to push along with my Butterbean in tow. Because I prayed for this child and God has given my petition that I asked for ~ I Samuel 1:27. Amen!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Week 8, Day 3
Happy New Year to everyone!
I am still hanging in there with mild nausea and now roller coaster crying. Last night I cried when a hair style commerical came on. Let me just say right now that I've always been one of those who would read about emotional pregnant women and think 'it can't be that bad, these women must be drama queens'. But as of this week I am eating my words. I was just in tears when the commercial came on thinking 'my hair is a mess'. Oh well that's what set off the water works.
This morning I realized that I have to get new jeans because none of my current ones fits anymore. I was already on the verge, but it seems the pants are too tight in the thighs. Needless to say I am doing my squats and legs each morning now. I also walked yesterday. I did extensive research on controlling weight gain during pregnancy. I DO NOT want to gain more than 15 pounds at my current weight. I am sure my doctor will agree. Starting out more than 40 pounds over my target weight is already enough without adding on 30-40 additional pounds. I think I'd be at risk of gestational diabetes and the whole nine. So I am going to fight harder to eat healthy meals and no more than 1800 calories plus my exercise. I will run all this by my doctor at next weeks visit to be sure I am doing the right thing.
As it stands I am so nauseous and disgusted with most food. I don't know what to do. Its still mild but its affecting my eating so much. I plan to get a lot of bland stuff to eat. I've been eating a lot of dairy since that is good fro 8 week baby development, but I gotta have some more variety and veggies most of all. I know I could probably eat some spinach if I set my mind to it. I have a strong aversion to chicken too. I don't want anything to do with it. Somethings gotta give though because I know I gotta do better. I recall eating a large bowl of broccoli with cheese and I want to gag. I did it though because I knew it'd be good for the baby. Now its harder for me to make those healthy choices. I will try though.
I am still hanging in there with mild nausea and now roller coaster crying. Last night I cried when a hair style commerical came on. Let me just say right now that I've always been one of those who would read about emotional pregnant women and think 'it can't be that bad, these women must be drama queens'. But as of this week I am eating my words. I was just in tears when the commercial came on thinking 'my hair is a mess'. Oh well that's what set off the water works.
This morning I realized that I have to get new jeans because none of my current ones fits anymore. I was already on the verge, but it seems the pants are too tight in the thighs. Needless to say I am doing my squats and legs each morning now. I also walked yesterday. I did extensive research on controlling weight gain during pregnancy. I DO NOT want to gain more than 15 pounds at my current weight. I am sure my doctor will agree. Starting out more than 40 pounds over my target weight is already enough without adding on 30-40 additional pounds. I think I'd be at risk of gestational diabetes and the whole nine. So I am going to fight harder to eat healthy meals and no more than 1800 calories plus my exercise. I will run all this by my doctor at next weeks visit to be sure I am doing the right thing.
As it stands I am so nauseous and disgusted with most food. I don't know what to do. Its still mild but its affecting my eating so much. I plan to get a lot of bland stuff to eat. I've been eating a lot of dairy since that is good fro 8 week baby development, but I gotta have some more variety and veggies most of all. I know I could probably eat some spinach if I set my mind to it. I have a strong aversion to chicken too. I don't want anything to do with it. Somethings gotta give though because I know I gotta do better. I recall eating a large bowl of broccoli with cheese and I want to gag. I did it though because I knew it'd be good for the baby. Now its harder for me to make those healthy choices. I will try though.
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